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This is my Dirty Bakers Dozen of the worst games I played this year on Linux......
Rules are simple......
Game can be from any year....... No mods...... No games that were listed in last years thread...... And no games played after December 1st 2023........
All my games are listed alphabetical order......
Dakar '97 (1997 Virign Interactive) - Sony PlayStation - Sports (Racing)
Wow....... This game is SHITE....... And apparently it was NOT a budget game....... I feel sorry for any child who had this in their Christmas stocking...... They would rather have had Santa take a massive dump in the stocking than put this in....... The controls are terrible...... Sounds are awful and the draw distance is so low you can watch the level being drawn in real time........ This is the worst Dakar game ever made....... Or is it???..........
Daze Before Christmas (1994 Sunsoft) - Super Nintendo Entertainment System - Platformer
Oh boy...... You would have been a very naughty boy to have gotten this game in your stocking...... Gameplay is more bland that dry white toast....... Controls are eh....... Sounds are rubbish and the game drags on for way to long......... Even though the levels are short there are god damn 24 of the bastards........ There are much better Christmas themed games out there....... Such as Santa Claus Junior (2001 JoWooD) - Nintendo Game Boy Color - Platformer....... That that instead......
Dino Crisis (2000 Capcom) - Sega Dreamcast - Survival Horror
This Dreamcast version is meant to be "better"...... I would hate to see the PlayStation version...... The biggest issue this games faces is not the dinosaurs...... Or the tank controls...... Or the puzzles...... Its the boredom....... This game is so god damn boring....... There are very, very long stretches of this game where NOTHING HAPPENS........ No dinosaurs....... Nothing..... Just puzzles to unlock doors so you con progress to the next locked door......... And a stupid mini game to move creates......... Just play Resident Evil instead........
Disney Sports Basketball (2003 Konami) - Nintendo GameCube - Sports (Basketball)
Disney Sports Football (2002 Konami) - Nintendo GameCube - Sports (Football)
Disney Sports Soccer (2002 Konami) - Nintendo GameCube - Sports (Soccer)
Ive lumped all three of these into the same spot as they might as well be the same game...... They are all horrible sports games with the exact same menus, teams, stadiums, music, announcer....... The game play in all three are rubbish and are a complete waste of the mined material the CD was made with...... Every team is just 1 Disney star with a rest of the team filled with generic no name models......... Dont waste your time with these........ Even if you love Disney..........
Final Fight (1989 Capcom) - Arcade - Beat 'em up
Final Fight (1991 Capcom) - Super Nintendo Entertainment System - Beat 'em up
I did not like either of these games and they are so similar ive just lumped them together as one....... It gets a pass mostly cause at the time there was very little other options but the game has aged very, very poorly...... Very stiff controls with limited move sets....... Enemy variety is lackluster........ Its just boring........ Its got the Golden Axe disease....... Really fun in short five minutes bursts before it gets really really boring......... The game looks, sounds and controls ok....... But the boring nature of the game just over shadows everything....... There are much better beat 'em ups to play........
Gate of Doom (1990 Data East) - Beat 'em up
This isometric beat 'em up is slow and cumbersome with very unimaginative bosses..... Clunky controls and a storyline that is below Christmas Cracker levels of engagement...... Enemies are boring....... The graphics are ok....... Sounds are eh...... Very lackluster game all round....... Much better arcade games to play than this....... Play if you are having trouble sleeping....... This will put you to sleep within 5 minutes no worries........
Jackass: The Game (2007 Red Mile) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Action
A game filled with low quality mobile tier mini games with no substance and no staying power........ Based on the awful MTV show of the same name...... If you thought the show was low budget just wait will you see or play this piece of shit...... There are ZERO redeeming qualities in this "game"...... Controls are terrible..... Graphics are subpar at best....... The "music" is shite....... I would rather do a real life Jackass stunt than play this piece of shit again........
NARC (2005 Midway) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Action
NO relation as all to the awesome arcade game........ NARC on the PS2/XBOX is a shite 3rd person shooter....... The sotryline beyond terrible...... The voice acting is atrocious..... Controls are sloppy...... The semi open world map is boring with not much to do...... The shooting is meh at best....... Its like they knew they had a stinker they their hands and slapped on the NARC name to try and sell a few extra copies because of the name recognition......... A working girl is still a prostitute..... The name doesnt change anything.......
NASCAR 09 (2008 EA Sports) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Racing)
This is a truly terrible port of the NASCAR 09 game....... Its almost like EA did it on purpose to make you buy a PS3/360 to get the better game...... Cars control really bad....... AI is terrible....... Menus are craptacular........ There is no heart or soul in this game....... It truly is a "by the numbers" game...... There are MUCH better NASCAR games to play on the PS2..... Play them instead and avoid this massive turd at all costs..........
Ninja Clowns (1991 Strata) - Arcade - Beat 'em up
The "Clowns" part of my infamous C.Rap Clowns rating for terrible games......... This game has every bad feature of a video video game........ Terrible controls...... Shocking sounds and music....... Awful graphics...... Nonsense storyline...... Unpredictable hit detection........ This game is quite short but my god...... It feels like it goes for freaking hours...... Im sure the the AFP and the CIA are using Ninja Clowns as a form of torture to get information out of prisoners.......
Paris-Dakar Rally (2001 Acclaim) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Racing)
This game is long and boring with terrible controlling vehicles..... No trucks...... Only bikes, quads and cars...... Roads look like a turd trail and this sums up the game perfectly as well...... Follow the brown turd road where your sanity will be lost forever....... The only redeeming quality about this game is that it didnt crash when I turned it off......... Maybe this is the worst Dakar game...... Or is it????.......
Paris-Dakar Rally Special (1988 Sony) - Nintendo Entertainment System - Sports (Racing)
Oh boy...... Dakar Rally in name only....... Drive through an ocean....... Avoid scorpions and snakes and ants that are larger than your vehicle....... Avoid a barely legally distinct Donkey Kong section....... Walk on clouds....... Chase bank managers to get the ATM Pin Number........ Avoid Penglings in helicopters dropping bombs...... Watch out for crows dropping eggs on you and drive through an actual live war zone......... Yes this is the true Dakar experience you have all been waiting for...... I dont know how this got the Dakar name slapped on it...... It has NOTHING to do with the Dakar rally........ MINUS FIVE STARS......
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1989 Konami) - Nintendo Entertainment System - Platformer
The infamous TMNT games on the NES...... Horrible 2D side scrolling action....... Terrible jumping and platforming sections...... *Shocking* swimming sections....... And abysmal driving sections...... This game has it all...... The game has an ending and thats the only positive thing i can say about it...... This game is 100% pure trash....... I hope every turtle in this game eats plastic bags........ MINUS FIVE STARS......
And that is my Dirty Bakers Dozen of bad video games I have played on Linux this year.......
Share your terrible gaming experience this year down below.......
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During an internet outage early in the year, I decided to play Kid Chameleon (Mega Drive), as I'd been meaning to try it out for a long time. I soon came to regret it!
While it has a number of fun ideas with its power-ups that allow protagonist Casey to change form, it drags on for WAAAAAAY too long, and even has some areas that send you back and forth as well, which only makes it worse. I went in expecting a runtime of about an hour or so, as was typical for platformers of the era, and had it been structured that way, I probably would have felt that it's a solid game.
I reached the first boss about 1.5 hours in, by which time the game was starting to wear out its welcome, and it then went on for a total of four-and-a-half hours - and it has no battery-save facility or passwords! Its pacing does not suit being played in one sitting, and yet, even though emulation allows otherwise today, that's how it was intended to be played - in fact, it's intended for repeated playthroughs, as it's not possible to see the entire game in just one run! Worse, the music consists only of forgettable metal tunes, and they all sound very artificial and samey, which only adds to the feeling of a lack of variety.
I just can't recommend this one. There are far better platformers on the Mega Drive.
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Then, I managed to get all the way up to November before I encountered Sonic 3D: Flickies' Island (Mega Drive). Exploratory isometric Sonic combined with an odd semi-sequel to the old arcade-game Flicky, with a helping of seemingly trying to make something that would look like a mockbuster equivalent to Super Mario RPG in magazine screenshots, plus tedious bosses where you have to wrestle with the perspective to try to hit (and often miss) things, does not work. It's the only game I've ever played where, upon being told that I had gained access to the true final boss, I responded with "Oh no!" plus some colourful language.
The game only has two things going for it - the handling feels right (and honestly feels like it was meant for a different type of gameplay entirely), and the soundtrack is very good. Going by the credits, it looks like all of the bad ideas came from Sega and all of the good ones came from developer Travellers' Tales, who were at the top of their game at the time, and who I don't believe have ever made a bad title when left to their own devices.
I suspect that Sonic 3D would've played much better if it had ditched the exploratory elements in favour of isometric obstacle-courses, somewhat like the 1993 arcade game, SegaSonic The Hedgehog.
I genuinely don't believe that the devs were at fault at all, but don't play this one.
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You cant kill important mission/quest people. Nobody reacts to you pulling gun out on the city. Nobody reacts even when you shoot your gun in the city. You can accidentaly jump block through walls/floors, you name it. NPCs glitch out and get stuck. Performance is piss poor. Theres no immersion at all. NPC dialogs are written by 10 year olds. You cant land on the planets, but watch cutscenes or click on the menus to teleport. Its a click simulator if you have a mission person in the City. Click to teleport to the next planet. click to teleport to the orbit, click to teleport to the City, Go to the tram to teleport to other city section, wait for the loading in the elevator...and so on.. Enemies are bullet sponges with no actual interesting engagements, AI is completely retarded most of the time...Ohh it will get better after 6 hours or so they say..yeah ok.. I just don't understand how some people can claim its the best game this year.... Each their own i guess...
Main Menu music is good though.. thats the only positive i think...
Last edited by Xpander on 14 December 2023 at 9:48 am UTC
Edit: and I find all the characters annoying, Lara most of all.
Last edited by damarrin on 14 December 2023 at 8:02 am UTC
The one memorable one would be Borderlands 3. I got multiple free copies of that and BL2 is among my favourite games. Clearly, BL3 is not a worthy successor. It's pretty sad because the gameplay is actually great. But when characters start talking you feel your brain drip out of your ears. Yes, it is THAT BAD. It is absolutely baffling that someone wrote this. It's actually stunning that someone took credit for it.
According to my achievements I started the game on 17 march 2022, so it's going to be a multi-year project to actually finish it. Because the gameplay mechanics do feel really good and the art is great, I try to progress every one in a while. Sessions are short and far apart though. So I guess worst game 2022-2024.
These are the games I started playing but gave up on. I guess it as close to bad as it comes for me:
Obduction - Every few years I try to make it through Myst. Every time I give up because I simply can't connect with either story or the puzzles. I thought a more modern successor from the same developer might do the trick. It did not.
Turok: Dinosaur Hunter - Did not age well. Bland and boring. I was hoping the remake would skip the save points and just let me save whenever so I could make it through the game quickly but no. Lost all enthusiasm for the game after an hour or so.
Close to the Sun - Starts out great but pretty quickly both game-play and story starts dragging on. Even though it's a short game (only five hours or so) I couldn't muster the energy to finish this one.
Oniria Crimes - Clever idea to solve crimes by interrogating objects as they where people. I played through the first crime scene in the demo. Had to do it again in the full version. Quit halfway and turns out the game only saves between scenes. Had to start over. Missed something and the game wanted me to replay the same scene a fourth time. Gave up.
Like, I probably started up some games I gave up almost instantly, and heck if I'll even remember most of them. But not many, I am picky enough already. Like, looking from my Steam library by last played, I found two games I dropped, both puzzles that I got for free: Hue and Block in the Lock. Plus some more demos I didn't care for and don't appear there, perhaps some browser games or games that I watched some gameplay.
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Playing bad games does make you appreciate the good games even more.......