G'Day fellow tuxers……. Its Bruce your host here once again…….. Its another Saturday here right now…….……


[+..••] As for gaming this week in Emulationville I played [+..••]

Arcade

Street Fighter II: The World Warrior (1991 Capcom) - Fighting


Console

ESPN NFL 2K5 (2004 Sega) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Football)
Madden NFL 2003 (2002 EA Sports) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Football)
Mario Kart Wii (2008 Nintendo) - Nintendo Wii - Sports (Racing)
NASCAR: Dirt to Daytona (2002 Infogrames) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Racing)
Pro Evolution Soccer 6 (2006 Konami) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Soccer)
Tecmo Super Bowl 2024 (2023 TecmoBowl.org) - Nintendo Entertainment System - Sports (Football)
The Adventures of Batman & Robin (1994 Konami) - Super Nintendo Entertainment System - Beat 'em up


PC

art of rally (2020 Funselektor Labs) - Steam - Sports (Racing)
NASCAR Heat 5 (2020 Motorsport Games) - Steam - Sports (Racing)
Race 07 (2007 SimBin) - Steam - Sports (Racing)
SRX: The Game (2021 Monster Games) - Steam - Sports (Racing)


Dick Trickles Racing Career: Part 47
NASCAR Dirt to Daytona: Part 47
Craftsmen Truck Series Season 1: Race 1

Intro music…... Hello and welcome to Left Turn Heaven exclusively on the Crass Racing Association Programming..... Im Murray Eastlake and today im going to be bringing you all the action from the 2005 Craftsman Truck Series: Round 1 of 14 here at Daytona International Speedway……..




Daytona International Speedway…….


Daytona International Speedway is 2.5 miles long with 31 degrees of banking in the turns….. The home of the Daytona 500….. This fast wide track is one of only two restrictor plate tracks in NASCAR….. You need excellent aerodynamics to be competitive….. And even with the restrictor plate…… Horsepower is always a good thing to have here…… Pit strategy and drafting are also keys to winning…… Its always unpredictable at Daytona International Speedway…….

The scumbag Rick Crawford comes into the 2006 season as the defending series champion……. With a large pack of hungry drivers ready to take the championship off him……. The Scumbag Rick Crawford will be looking to start the season with a good win…….. Matt Crafton and Travis Kvapil will be amoung the contenders looking to start the year off strong…….

Another man looking for a good start will be the 2005 Featherlite Modified Series Champion Dick Trickle……. Who has made the move up to the Craftsman Truck Series……. Dick will be looking for a solid trouble free run to work out the car and hopefully get a respectable finishing position…….

Now that Dick has moved up to the Craftsman Truck Series which includes pit stops...... He will need a pit crew....... Dick put an ad on the internet "Looking for people with experience with changing rubber...... Must like working with Dick"..... He got a lot of responses...... But not the kind of responses he was looking for....... They were experienced at changing rubber thats for sure........ But it was the wrong kind of rubber....…

He did end up getting a proper pit crew and they look like they know how to change the right rubber….. So thats good…...

Dont touch the sets...... Dont touch the dials...... You wont want to miss a single moment of the 2006 Craftsman Truck Series....… Practice and qualifying are coming up right now……


Dick hired the best pit crew in the game.…



Dick Trickle at the track ready to race.…


Dick Trickle and Dick Seaman spent a lot of time in practice sorting out the car…… Working on everything from gear ratios to grill tape…… They seemed quite happy after practice ended……… The car wasnt super quick but for a learning weekend they were doing just fine…...

Qualifying was up next……. And it was Travis Kvapil who took pole position with a time of 52.621…… Juts 0.2 seconds ahead of second placed Matt Crafton who set a time of 52.817….. Both men were very pleased with their qualifying results……..

Third was Robert Pressley with a time of 53.108……… Just head of the man in fourth Dennis Setzer who set a 53.209……..

Rounding out the top five and only just missing out on fourth by 0.02 seconds was Brendan Gaughan who set a time of 53.227………

Dick ended up only just outside the top half after qualifying……. Setting a time of 55.727 to be nineteenth fastest…….. Not a bad result for the Craftsman Truck rookie……




Qualifying Results........



Dick Trickle lined up ready to start the race......


Travis Kvapil lead the field to the green flag to not only start the this 52 lap race but also start the 2006 Craftsman Truck Series season……. As the green flag dropped Dick got a bad start and limped off the start………

He was overtaken by several cars before they entered turn one…….. Dicks spotter Jacques O’Ften was busy on the radio trying to clam down Dick……. While crew chief Dick Seaman was busy sorting out the race strategy and making sure the crews were in position ready to go…….

Dick managed to get some positions back….. While the Sears Craftsman Die Hard Dick Machine is no match for half the field it does indeed draft very well and is able to keep up with faster trucks while its in the draft…….

Dick managed to work his way up to fourteenth by lap 5 and was starting to lose contact with the trucks in front when a yellow flag came out…… Randy McDonald spun and made contact with the wall……. This brought tout the pace car…….

Dick made a pit stop during the caution period…… Along with the leaders…… Both Matt Crafton and Travis Kvapil made a pit stop…… Dicks new crew were sensational…… Changed all four tyres and filled up the tank in next to no time and Dick was the second man out of pit lane…….

After Dick had a smoke during the caution period…….. On the restart Dick was twenty seventh…… Dick used the draft superbly to penetrate his way back to fourteenth…… Dick found himself locked in a battle with the scumbag Rick Crawford………

Michael Rattners engine exploded and he was forced to limp back to the pits and call it a day……. He managed to get way down on the apron and avoid another caution period……..

Dick managed to get a few more places and climb to eleventh……. In the draft his truck was excellent…….. But the scumbag Rick Crawford was right there with him……..

The drivers that didnt put during the last caution now had to pit and Dick was now gaining more spots…….. He found himself at the dizzying heights of fifth place……

Dick was still in battle with the scumbag Rick Crawford……. Crawford who is in a much faster truck was finally able to get passed Dick….. But Dick was able to sit behind in Crawfords draft and get a nice tow around the track…….

Dick was sitting right on the scumbag Rick Crawfords rear around the 2.5 mile circuit……. Just as Dick Seaman was getting the pit crew ready for Dick to make a pit stop…….. Jacques O’Ften came on the radio letting Dick know that Don Inmon had gone hard into the wall and that the caution was out again……….

At the half way stage of the race Dick Seaman scrambled the pit crew ready for Dicks stop during the pace car……. Dick came into the pits in sixth place……. And was the first car to leave the pit lane…….. A lot of trucks did not pit as they had just done so under the green flag……. This did indeed trap a lot of trucks a lap down……..

Even after the pit stop Dick restarted the race inside the top ten…… Sitting in eight place…….. With the scumbag Rick Crawford right behind him in ninth……… After another smoke……. On the restart Dick made a great move up the inside exiting turn two……. He was able to avoid the checkup in front and Dick gained a whole bunch of positions to be sitting in third place……..

It did not last long as less than a lap later both Matt Crafton and Travis Kvapil blew past Dick like he was sanding still……. Dick tried to get into the draft of them but they were just to fast for Dick…….

The scumbag Rick Crawford found his way back to Dick…… And the two resumed their fight….. This time it was for fifth place…….. Dick did not put up much of a fight……. And when Crawford made a move on the outside Dick just let Crawford past……

Dick then sat right behind him…… Getting a nice tow from the draft……. Dick was much quicker behind the scumbag Rick Crawford than being in front of him……..

Ten laps to go and trucks started to make their final pit stop…….. Dick Seaman told Dick to say out as long as possible in case there is a caution……. And Jacques O’Ften was doing his best to guide Dick through the lapped traffic and stay out of trouble as trucks were coming back onto the track after their pit stops…….

As more and more drivers pitted including the scumbag Rick Crawford…... Dick found himself in the lead of the race……. It might during the pit cycle but Dick was in the lead in his debut truck race…….. What a sensational drive……..

With 6 laps left Dick makes his first green flag pit stop of his career……… He pits from the lead of the race…….. He takes 1 can of gas and right side tyres only…….. Hes gone in a flash and rejoins the track…….. As he gets up to speed he is passed by many trucks who are already at racing speed…… The restictor plate makes the acceleration of the trucks much slower…..

Dick gets back to speed in tenth…… with Rich Bickle right in front of Dick……. And of course the scumbag Rick Crawford is right behind him……. Dick gets right against Bickles rear…… Dick is desperate to get that top ten finish in his debut race…….

The tandem draft between Rich Bickle and Dick is enough to get away from the scumbag Rick Crawford……. The two start to drop Crawford as hes not able to keep up without the draft himself……

Onto the final lap and Dick looks set to claim a top ten finish……. His sponsors would be really happy with that……… Pussy Galore nervously watches on as Dick is almost inside Rich Bickles rear end going down the long back straight….. Dick drops back one truck length from Bickle……. Hes got sometime planned I just know it…….

As the chequered flag waves to end the race…… Matt Crafton takes a comfortable win…….. After he dominated a large portion of the race……. Thats the start to the season he was looking for…….

Second was the pole sitter Travis Kvapil who just couldnt hang with Matt Craftons race pace……. Kvapil drove really well and will still be happy with a second placed finish to start the season…….

Third was Robert Pressley who also drive a good solid race and stayed out of trouble…… A top three is always a good way to start the season and he will be looking to stay in the championship hunt as the weeks progress……

In fourth place was Dennis Setzer who rolled the dice and stayed out in the early caution……. It did not pay off but he did finish where he started and with that solid drive he will be hoping that laid the foundation for whats to come this season……..

And rounding out the top five was Brendan Gaughan……. He had a fast truck but was not able to get through the traffic as well as he would have liked after making pit stops under cautions……. He will be looking to go better next week……..

Rich Bickle still leads Dick as they go through turn three and into four…….. AS THEY EXIT TURN FOUR FOR THE LAST TIME DICK NOW HAS A RUN ON BICKLE…….. HES CLOSED THAT GAP RIGHT BACK UP AND DICK DIVES TO THE INSIDE USING THE MOMENTUM FROM THE DRAFT……… BICKLE TRIES TO DEFEND BUT HES TO LATE MAKING THE MOVE…….. THEY ARE SIDE BY SIDE RACING TO THE LINE…….. THEY CROSS THE LINE IN A PHOTO FINISH…… I HAVE NO IDEA WHO WAS AHEAD……… I DONT THINK THERE WAS EVEN A BEES DICK IN IT…...

The photo finish shows that Dick was just ahead as they crossed the line and claims ninth place…….. He beat Rich Bickle by 0.004 of a second……… what a sensational finish to the race……. And what a debut drive by Dick Trickle……. He is certainly not here to make up the numbers thats for sure…...

Dick comes home in ninth place……. In what was a sensational debut drive in the truck series……. He shows hes got what it takes to hang with the big boys and that he was serious about being a championship contender…….




Race Results..…


After the race Dick came back to the paddock area with a huge smile on his face…….. He had just got a top 10 finish on debut and he was going to party like its still 1999…….

Dick got out of the car and was embraced by Pussy Galore…… I needed a crowbar to get Pussy off Dick…… But I managed to do so in order to get a word with Dick…….. “Not bad for a rookie hey Murray……. The truck is well down on power on its own….. But thanks to the restrictor plate I was able to hang with them thanks to the draft…….”

“Very eventful race……. The second caution was right in our fuel window so that really helped…… We got a bit lucky there and as I said the truck is well down on power that I will be needing that engine upgrade before next race……… I dont think I would have fared as well on a non retrictor plate race…….”

“Got work cut out for us this week…… Lots of upgrades and tuning needed to this Sears Craftsman Died Hard Dick Machine…….. But im sure we will get it done……. Roll on Darlington that will be a totally different challenge……. Will see you there Murray……...”

Well there you have it folks…….. Another race has been entered into the great book of motorsport…...

Next week the 2006 Craftsman Truck Series heads to Darlington Raceway….. For the one and only time this season……..

Matt Crafton has laid down the gauntlent with the perfect start to the season……. Can the scumbag Rick Crawford get back to winning ways or can Travis Kvapil get revenge and take the win……. Can the rookie sensation Dick get another top ten finish???……. Or will be found out to a pretender at the track to tough to tame……. Darlington Raceway???……..

Tune in next week for the answers to all these questions and more….. Exclusively here on Left Turn Heaven…….. Same CRAP time…… Same CRAP network………..

This is Murray Eastlake reporting for Left Turn Heaven exclusively here on Crass Racing Association Programming..... And until next time its goodbye from me……

As for why I keep calling the scumbag Rick Crawford a “Scumbag”…….. There is a very good reason for that…….. the scumbag Rick Crawford was a real Craftsman Truck Series driver…….. Who is now sitting in jail…….. In 2018 The Scumbag Rick Crawford was arrested, charged and later convicted of "attempted enticement of a minor" when he was caught in a FBI sex crime sting operation……. He is currently serving a 10 year 10 month jail sentence……..


Winnings.…



NASCAR Heat Weekly.…



2006 Truck Series Championship Standings after round 1 of 14.…




The Sponsors Dick Trickle has picked up after the first race……








First lap Hard Dick Truckin’ action....


As Dick leaves the track to make his way home his car mysteriously comes to a halt...... He turns the key but nothing happens....... He gets out and pops the bonnet to see if he can diagnose the problem..... Dick cant see anything wrong with the car...... He kicks the bumper and swears in anger........

He looks around and spots a strange blue phone booth with "POLICE PUBLIC CALL BOX" written across the top of it....... It looks out of place but he cant put his finger on why....... It bugs him for a moment but then he forgets about it......... As Dick needs to make a phone call to get a tow truck and get home....... He walks over to the phone booth......

As he does the door opens and out steps a older gentleman........ Wearing a impractical long scarf..... A tatty brown wide brim hat...... With curly hair protruding out the bottom of the hat........

Dick Trickle: Can you hurry up mate I need to make a phone call........

Strange Man: You dont NEED to make a phone call..... You just WANT to make a phone call......

Dick Trickle: I dont have time for riddles mack....... Just get out of the way so I can make a call alright......

Strange Man: Im not Mack...... Im a doctor......

Dick Trickle: Look Doc……. If you dont move out of the way you will be using your doctor skills on yourself........

Strange Man: Ah..... I must be in America..... I can tell now by the overly aggressive nature of the locals.......

Dick Trickle: Hey mack..... Monologue over there somewhere...... Im gonna make a call right now......

And with that Dick pushes the man aside and opens the door to the phone booth......... The man grabs Dick and tries to stop him...... The man and Dick struggle for a moment before they lose their balance and roll into the light blue phone booth....... The door shuts and they roll into a very large room..... Much larger than what the phone booth looks like on the outside........ They stop rolling when they collide with a large metal object.......

Dick is now on top and has the dominate position....... He reaches for the metal box looking object to use it as leverage...... His hand hits the top of the box...... And he feels a button press under his hand....... Dick sits up and realises its a large control panel........ And his hand pushed some of the buttons........

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE YOU STUPID YANKEE TOSSPOT!!!!!....…” The strange man yells at the top of the his lungs…….

The room then starts to shake violently as many bells and whistles and alarms sound..... Almost deafening Dick....... The two men slide across the room several times as the room sways from side to side........ Finally the noise stops and the room comes to a stand still.......

Dick gets off the strange "doctor" and opens the door....... He looks outside and is astonished to find he is now in a totally different location........ He doesnt recognise this place at all...... The sun is very bright........ The streets are very narrow..... And the buildings a very tightly packed together....... Almost as if the entire street is lined with one long continuous building.......

“Where the *BEEP* am I???.....…” Dick says utterly confused about what has just happened……..

“How the bloody hell would I know???..... You pushed the buttons....…” Replies the strange man with nothing but contempt in his voice……….

Enraged Dick grabs the mans incredibly long scarf and strangles him with it........ Not stopping until the man stops moving........ "Thats what you get for kidnapping me you weirdo......" Dick says as he gets off the lifeless body of the strange man..… Dick slowly leaves the phone booth....... He wonders around the strange land....... He cant understand anything being said by anyone as no one is speaking English........

To Be Continued…...


***INTERMISSION……...***


2023 Advent Gaming Calendar

Its that time of year again……. I gave my lovely assistant a list of 40+ games I have never played before……. My assistant had the task of culling the list down to 25 games and putting them in order for the Gaming Advent Calendar……. And I have no idea what games made the cut and what order they are in……

Day 23 of the 2023 Gaming Advent Calendar was……..

The Adventures of Batman & Robin (1994 Konami) - Super Nintendo Entertainment System - Beat 'em up

A rather bland and sparse beat ‘em up…… The graphics are really nice and looks just like the old Batman and Robin cartoon show…… Sounds are ok…… And the controls are good…….

But its very bland…… And has just as much platforming and grappling and light puzzle solving as it does beating up thugs…….. The quiet sections so drag quite a bit…….

If you love Batman give it a go…… Otherwise its a rather safe miss…...


Day 24 of the 2023 Gaming Advent Calendar was……..

Mario Kart Wii (2008 Nintendo) - Nintendo Wii - Sports (Racing)

This is what Garfield Kart should have been more like…… Interesting power ups, Imaginative courses, cool looking vehicles…….

Very nice controls……. Good sounds……… And excellent visuals make this a no brainer for kart racing fans……

Really good fun kart racing game for all ages…… If you have a choice…… Play this over Garfield Kart: Furious Racing…….


Day 25 of the 2023 Gaming Advent Calendar was……..

Street Fighter II: The World Warrior (1991 Capcom) - Arcade - Fighting

A very very good fighting game…… Not much needs to be said about this one….. Controls are excellent….. Sounds are great……. Visuals are superb……….

While not as good as Super Street Fighter II Turbo this is a great game in its own right and needs to be played by anyone interesting in fighting games………

And there we have it…….. Another Advent Calendar is done and dusted…….. Was a good fun time going through 25 different games in 25 days…….

Thank you to my lovely assistant for collating the list…….. And thank you all for reading it……..


The Road To PES Penguin 6


The road to unlock the PES Penguin in Pro Evolution Soccer 6 is at 2200 PES points out of 5000……….


Next week…… There will be more hardcore Dick Trickle action…….. art of rally…… And more PES Penguin 6……….

Well thats it from me…… Hope all you tuxers have a good week……

Now for my bad joke of the week……
Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we are all stoked and even offer to help........
*ba dum.... tssssh…...*

Last edited by StoneColdSpider on 30 December 2023 at 9:57 am UTC