G'Day fellow tuxers……. Its Bruce your host here once again…….. Its another Saturday here right now…….……


[+..••] As for gaming this week in Emulationville I played [+..••]

Arcade

Sexy Parodius (1996 Konami) - Shoot 'em up – Horizontal


Console

Dakar 2: The World's Ultimate Rally (2003 Acclaim) - Nintendo GameCube - Sports (Racing)
ESPN NFL 2K5 (2004 Sega) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Football)
Madden NFL 2003 (2002 EA Sports) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Football)
NASCAR: Dirt to Daytona (2002 Infogrames) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Racing)
Pro Evolution Soccer 6 (2006 Konami) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Soccer)
Tecmo Super Bowl 2024 (2023 TecmoBowl.org) - Nintendo Entertainment System - Sports (Football)


PC

art of rally (2020 Funselektor Labs) - Steam - Sports (Racing)
NASCAR Heat 5 (2020 Motorsport Games) - Steam - Sports (Racing)
Race 07 (2007 SimBin) - Steam - Sports (Racing)
SRX: The Game (2021 Monster Games) - Steam - Sports (Racing)


Dick Trickles Racing Career: Part 49
Dakar 2: The World's Ultimate Rally: Part 2
2001 Paris-Dakar Rally: Part 2


Intro music and video Hello and welcome to Kamaz Heaven exclusvely on the Crass Racing Association Programming........ Im Murray Eastlake and today im going to be bringing you all the Kamaz action from the 2001 Paris-Dakar Rally.......

After the rest day Dick in the Kamaz 49256 will be looking to continue his dominate form in the 2001 Paris-Dakar Rally…… He has a 8 minute lead over his closest rival Karel Loprais in the Tatra T815…… And less than a second behind Karel Loprais is the Mercedes-Benz Unimog driver of Paolo Barilla…….

Dick might have a decent lead but one mistake and that time will evaporate quicker than a pool of water in the desert……. He still needs to concentrate and drive to the conditions in front of him…… He might be a Dakar rookie but Dick certainly doesnt want to make any rookie mistakes at this stage of the rally……

Can Dick win the Paris-Dakar on debut???……. Can either Karel Loprais or Paolo Barilla claw that time back and get a win and the outright record for their respective manufacturer???…. Even Sugawara Yoshimasa in the Hino Ranger down in seventh is not out of contention……. Its all still to play for here in the desert…….. Whos machine will reign supreme???…...

Dont touch the sets…….. Dont touch the dials…….. You wont want to miss a single moment of the 2001 Paris-Dakar Rally action………


Stage 7: Mali Desert......

Stage 7 stakes place through the Mali Desert…… The second and final desert stage of the 2001 Paris-Dakar Rally……. This point to point stage just like previous desert stage will put the navigators to the ultimate test……. With hardly any landmarks to reference navigation will be tough……

After the rest day a very refreshed looking Dick was back in the saddle of the mighty Kamaz…… The KAMAZ-Master team worked tirelessly during the rest day to make sure the Kamaz 49256 trucks were in tip top shape to tackle the relentless Mali Desert…….

After the count down Dick was off like a brides nightie…….. He stormed across the desert…. With so much open room there was no fighting the other competitors in this stage….. As Dick blew past the car with ease and quickly caught up to the MAN truck and past it with ease as well……

Dick mounted the dunes like a teenager on prom night……. His navigator has his work cut out for him keep up with how fast Dick was going……. Dick soon passed the bike and with no one around him he barged his way though the thick grass sections and was making great time…… Getting a lot of hair time over the dunes…….

Dick finished the stage setting the best time again……. And again he had Karel Loprais and Paolo Barilla right behind him on the timesheets….. They clearly have not given up on the victory just yet……...


Stage 8: Niger River......


Stage 8 takes place along side the Niger River……... The tight and twisty dirt route will put the drivers to the test…… With plenty of forks in the route to confuse navigators as well…… And one wrong move could send you tumbling into the Niger River…….. There is a lot at stake…. And you better not make a mistake…….

Dick was waiting at the start area…. The roar of the huge Kamaz engine was almost deafening as Dick took off the moment his navigator said “Go”……. Dick had to be careful as there are lost of bumps and uneven terrain here…… Very easy to roll the hulking vehicle such as the Kamaz 49256…….

He catches the car in a good spot and was able to zoom past without any issues…… The Tarta T815 truck though was causing him more problems…… Dick had to wait and even then he was only just able to get past the Tatra on the narrow track……..

The slim bike was very easy for Dick to get past…… And he was clear……. With only the route to beat Dick knuckled down and focused on the narrow track in front of him……. Dick negotiated the route like a pro and finish the top on top of the timesheets again…… With Karel Loprais and Paolo Barilla not far and are still well within striking distance…….


Stage 9: Timbuktu......


Stage 9 takes place through Timbuktu…… Through some very old villages that time has almost forgotten about……. This very windy hard dirt route will test the trucks setups the maximum…… As well as the drivers concentration……

Dick thunders off from the line and races across the hard compacted dirt track……. Dick gets plenty of air from the jumps as he shows no signs of slowing down……. And also no signs of nerves……. He rears past the car with ease……. The might Kamaz engine pulls the near 9 ton truck along with ease…….

As Dick gets to the MAN truck in front they come to the very tight windy section…… Dick is not waiting for an invitation……. He uses the handbrake to force up the inside of the MAN through the hairpin….. Over some more jumps and Dick is clear of the bike as well…….

Through the confusing forks section and the navigator points duck in the right directions……. Dick shows complete faith in the navigator as he rumbles his way through the section barely slowing down at all……..

As per usual….. Dick is the man to beat and no man has beaten Dick…… As he once again sits on top of the time sheets…… Looks like he might get a perfect Paris-Dakar if he keeps this up……… Karel Loprais and Paolo Barilla had to settle for second and third once again……. They are quickly running out of time…… With only three stages left…… They need to start beating Dick…...


Stage 10: Grasslands......


Stage 10 takes place through the Grasslands…… This point to point dirt stage is very fast….. And also very narrow in places…… Along with lots of forks to help confuse the navigators……. The rain has returned to the Dakar….. It hasnt rained since stage 2…… This will make things tricky for the drivers……

Dick takes his starting position and waits for the count down…….. As his navigator says “Go”……. Dick storms off the line……. Dick slides his way through the fast narrow stage as the rain steadily falls……..

He quickly catches the car that started just in front and he dispenses of him with ease……. Up the inside through a long bend……. The MAN truck was a bit more trouble….. But Dick managed to slip up the inside at one of the hairpins to get passed……..

Dick then blew passed the bike like it was standing still…… The Kamaz 49256 was setup perfectly by the KAMAZ-Master team…….. Dick kept his foot in it and slid the mammoth vehicle through the rest of the stage…… Showing excellent truck control to keep it on the slippery wet dirt surface……

Dick once again topped the timesheets……. Two more stages and he will get the perfect record……. Karel Loprais and Paolo Barilla were left with only second and third……. They are starting to need a miracle to win the Paris-Dakar now…… But anything is possible…...


Stage 11: Savannah......


Stage 11 stakes place through the Savannah…… This point to point dirt track has seen a lot of growth since the rains have come through and the teams will now have to tackle river crossings as well as the thick tall grass just off the track…… So drivers need to be careful to stay on the track to not get stuck…….

Dick once again takes his place at the start line for the penultimate stage of the 2001 Paris-Dakar Rally……. Dick takes off in a cloud of dust and diesel smoke……..

Dick flies through the opening section of the stage……. Looking for a champion as he splashes through the river crossing while overtaking a car…… The Tatra truck poses challenge to the mighty Dick…… As he dispenses of the truck is ease as well…..

Dick splashes through another water section barely slowing down…… The Kamaz is showing fine form as is takes on the terrain with ease……. The bike competitor is also passed with little trouble…… Dick is on a mission and its to win the rally with a perfect record it seems……..

With no one around him the new tall grass section is easily dealt with……. As Dick drives superbly through the section and keeps the truck on the dirt track while hardly losing any speed……. That is a real skill right there…….

Dick crosses the line with a fantastic time and once again is the Dick on top of the time sheets…….. And as per usual this rally…… Karel Loprais and Paolo Barilla were left to fight for second and third……

Their hopes of a Paris-Dakar victory are all but gone……. Only a monumental disaster from Dick stands between himself as a debut Paris-Dakar title…….


Stage 12: Dakar Beach......


Stage 12 takes place around Dakar Beach……. Three laps around this sand and tarmac circuit is the final stage of the 2001 Paris-Dakar Rally…… This is a very fast and flowing circuit with lots of jumps….. But they can be avoided with skilful driving…… This will test the setup engineers thats for sure……

As Dick takes off from the line for the last time…….. He thunders along the Dakar Beach…….. Swerving to miss the dunes on the course and avoiding the jumps that will slow you down…… He very quickly catches the car and its gone in a flash…….

As they reach the wide tarmac section Dick catches the MAN truck…… And thrust his way past with little resistance……. The very wide tarmac section sees Dick stretch the legs of the Kamaz and really push on hard…….

The bike stands little chance against Dicks huge vehicle and Dick soon finds himself out on his own with two laps left to go……

With no one in his way Dick can run his own lines and use his own braking points…… He sets an excellent time for the second lap……. And only the third and final lap to not only end the stage but also the 2001 Paris-Dakar Rally……

As Dick slides the Kamaz 49256 through the final corner victory is assured…… Karel Loprais and Paolo Barilla can now only fight for second and third…….

Dick crosses the line……. And sets the fastest time…. Becoming the first ever driver to win every stage of the Pairs-Dakar Rally……. Dick is also the first American to win the Paris-Dakar Rally in any category…….

Karel Loprais finishes second in the truck class…… More than 15 minutes behind Dick……. While Paolo Barilla had to settle for third…… He just missed out on second place by just over 1 second…...






2021 Paris-Dakar Rally Final Standings......


After the rally Dick celebrated his victory…….. As the entire KAMAZ-Master team celebrated with him…… I managed to get amongst the Blue Armada and get a word with Dick……. “DAKAR CHAMPIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!……….. Thanks Murray…….. Its been a fantastic Paris-Dakar Rally…… My first time here and I won…… Who could ever believe it……”

“The Kamaz 49256 was amazing throughout the entire event……. The team here did a fantastic job every single night repairing the truck and changing the setup for every new challenge each day threw at us…… These are the ultimate professionals…… And they are amazing to work with……..”

“I hope to one day come back and tackle the Paris-Dakar Rally again…… It was a truly amazing experience……. As for what my next plan is…… I dont know…… I need to find my way home first…… Then work out what I will do…… Who knows Murray……. We might just run into each other again one day……..”

Well there you have it folks…….. Another race has been entered into the great book of motorsport…...

Dick Trickle is your 2001 Paris-Dakar Rally Truck Class Champion……… The American rookie who was just here on a holiday……. Is now a Desert King…….. What next for Dick???……. What will his career be now…… Being a Paris-Dakar Winner will surely get the phones ringing with offers to drive from far and wide……… He has proved his speed and mental toughness…… What will Dicks future be???……..

Tune in next week for the answers to all these questions and more….. Exclusively here on Kamaz Heaven…….. Same CRAP time…… Same CRAP network………..

This is Murray Eastlake reporting for Kamaz Heaven exclusively here on Crass Racing Association Programming..... And until next time its goodbye from me……


Dick celebrates his 2001 Paris-Dakar Rally victory......









Hard Trucking Dick Action…….


After the celebrations Dick sneaks away from the Kamaz-Master Team crew and finds a nice quiet spot to have a smoke....... As he smokes a stranger approaches Dick....... Dick looks at the man not recognising him at all...... "Look mack im just having a smoke...... If you want anything just give me a couple of minutes ok???....."

"You dont remember me do you??" says the stranger......

"Not at all" says Dick with a puzzled look on his face......

"Perhaps this will jog your Yankee tosspot memory........" The strange man holds up the impractically long scarf Dick used as a murder weapon two weeks ago.......

"The strange Doctor????....No its cant be..... I left you......" Dick stumbles over his words with a horrified look on his face.......

"Dead..... Yes you did........ Now come here you murderous Yankee tosspot" snaps the strange man with pure anger in his voice.......

The two men struggle for a bit...... But after the gruelling two weeks in the Paris-Dakar Rally a very exhausted Dick is quickly overpowered....... The strange man uses the impractically long scarf to restrain Dick...... Dick is wrapped up in the scarf like Spier-Mans web fluid unable to move....... The strange man grabs the end of the scarf and starts to drag Dick away.......

The dragging finally stops..... Dick has no idea where he is as he is wrapped up in the scarf like a mummy.... Suddenly the floor then starts to shake and Dick hears the familiar bells and whistles and alarms from before..... This time they dont deafen Dick as his ears are covered by the scarf........

The ground stops shaking and all becomes silent...... Dick cant figure out if the noises had stopped or he has finally become deaf....... The strange man grabs the end of the scarf and starts to drag Dick again........ Dick is then unwrapped from the impractically long scarf....... He he shields his eyes from the light....... But he can just see enough to know hes in the doorway of the blue phone booth........

"Where am I now mack??....." Dick says looking very puzzled again......

"Thats for you to find out on your own....." Shouts the strange man...... His voice is so angry he is almost spitting venom.......

The strange man then shoves Dick through the doorway and out into the strange land........ "Thats what for you get for killing me you Yankee tosspot....." the strange mans shouts before slamming the door shut on the blue phone booth........ A few seconds later the phone booth disappears from sight....... Dick turns to look at the new land he is in....... The place looks very familiar but also unfamiliar at the same time.........

"What have I gotten myself into now???....." Dick mutters to himself......…

To be continued…...


***INTERMISSION……...***


art of rally…...



Can games be art????…….. What about rallying???………. Lets find out……..

The graphics….. Are really damn nice…… They went with a very low poly pastel water painting look…… And it works really well….. It helps that everything is in the same art style…… So it all comes together very nicely…… Unlike a certain game with Lego characters and non Lego terrain…...

The sounds……. The sounds are good…… The engine sounds are nice and the turbo waste gate sounds are exceptional……. The background music is alright…… Very calming synth wave style music……

The controls……... Are good…. Once I got it dialled in….. The default settings are pretty bad….. The cars control really nice with a gamepad and its a very nice relaxing simcade style of game…… Realistic enough to be engaging but arcade enough to rather relaxing…...

The storyline....... Well there is no storyline….. So I get to make one up again……. As April O’Neil continues to be lowered into a vat of Nacho Cheese by the Doritos Pope….. With the Nacho Nun still disabled…… Pengling has to think fast and gathers her rather extensive robot army…….. She commands the robot army to attack the Doritos Pope……. But there is one fatal flaw in her plan……. The robots are programmed to see bright colours……. While Doritos Pope is dull and lacking in colour….. So her robot army can not see the Doritos Pope……. And they wonder around looking for the target they are meant to destroy……. The Doritos Pope laughs as he continues to lower April O’Neil into the vat of delicious Nacho Cheese……. Will April O’Neil ever be saved???….. Will she turn into a tasty snack???…… Can Pengling think of another idea quick enough???…… Will the Ninja Turtles ever show up???……… Turn in next week…… Same CRAP time……. Same CRAP network……..

The gameplay…… Race in rally stages and win…… That is the gist of the game…… The career mode has you going for the 1970’s to the 1990’s driving all sorts of period correct cars with non licenced names…… Along with driver games spelt incorrectly…… Such as “Colin McRey”……

There are many different locations….. Including an Australian DLC….. And different road surfaces from gravel to dirt to tarmac to snow…… Along with different weather conditions and time of day….. Including night time…….. The rally stages are rather short…… The longest stage is around 6 minutes long…….

Overall…… This is a great simple Rally game that does the little things right……. Huge selection of non licenced cars……. Lots of stages and locations…… Excellent cohesive art style…… And a nice sound track to go along with it…….

There is no co driver and no pace notes……. It doesnt matter to much as the 3rd person view means you can see what it coming up ahead…… Most of the time…… Anyway……..

Well worth a go for anyone who wants to try and rally game but a “realistic” game is to scary for them……...

And that is why my final score for art of rally is a Colin McRae hitting a tree out of 10……...


art of rally…..


The Road To PES Penguin 6


The road to unlock the PES Penguin in Pro Evolution Soccer 6 is at 2500 PES points out of 5000……….


Next week…… There will be more hardcore Dick Trickle action…….. art of rally…… And more PES Penguin 6……….

Well thats it from me…… Hope all you tuxers have a good week……

Now for my bad joke of the week……
Theres a priest a minister and a rabbi...... There out playing golf and they are trying to decide how much to give to charity...... So the priest says "we will draw circle on the ground and throwing the money way up into the air and whatever money lands inside the circle goes to charity"...... The minister says "no....we will draw circle on the ground and throwing the money way up into the air and whatever money lands outside of the circle goes to charity"...... The rabbi "No no no...... We will throw the money way up into the air....... And whatever god wants he keeps.....
*ba dum.... tssssh…...*

Last edited by StoneColdSpider on 12 January 2024 at 9:23 pm UTC