G'Day fellow tuxers……. Its your interim host here once again…….. Its a raining Saturday here right now…….…… Its been yet another miserable rainy week here in the land down under…… I was able to get some work done in the garden the only and only day it did not rain…… I did of course break something……. I broke the damn tree loppers……… So there is now a really nice sharp chunk of metal stuck in the branch of the tree…… I need to try and remember that for when I go out there next time and work on it……….

Besides that its been real indoor weather here……. We even got some hail…….

Natasha has been practising her Collie Uppercuts……… She can now smack the Dick Trickle off a fly at 150 metres……… Its been a painful week…...


Natasha

[+..••] As for gaming this week in Emulationville I played [+..••]

Arcade

Cadillacs and Dinosaurs (1993 Capcom) - Beat 'em up


Console

Dino Crisis (2000 Capcom) - Sega Dreamcast - Survival Horror
Gran Turismo 4 (2004 Sony) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Racing)
NASCAR: Dirt to Daytona (2002 Infogrames) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Racing)


PC

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (2004 Rockstar) - Steam - Action
NASCAR Heat 5 (2020 Motorsport Games) - Steam - Sports (Racing)
Warhammer 40,000: Boltgun (2023 Focus Entertainment) - Steam - First Person Shooter


The Dick Trickles Racing Career: Part 19
NASCAR Dirt to Daytona: Part 19
Weekly Dirt Racing Series Season 2: Race 8

Intro music…... Hello and welcome to Left Turn Heaven..... Im Murray Eastlake and today im going to be bringing you all the action from the 2003 Weekly Dirt Racing Series: Round 8 of 10 here at Kingsfield Raceway....…



Kingsfield Raceway…...

Kingsfield Raceway is 0.375 miles long with 15 degrees of banking……. This dirt track requires a good handling car with some decent horsepower for the straights…… Driver skill is required too as the grass apron is very close to the racing line that causes chaos when you touch it…….

Last week Dick Trickle was hammering nails into the coffins of his opponents……… This week he has the chance to hammer in the final nail……. If he makes the A Main Matthew Kato and Josh Ginter are out of the championship hunt……. If Dick finishes ahead of Ted Finger in the A Main……. That will make Dick Trickle the 2003 Weekly Dirt Racing Series Champion……… With two races to spare……. A feat which has never been done before…..

Can he do it???…… Or can Ted Finger bounce back after a terrible round last week at Hastings and keep the championship alive???…..

Can Matthew Kato or Josh Ginter get in their and spoil Dick Trickles coronation???…… It will be a hard task to do as Dick has come first in all seven races so far this season……

I managed to get a word with Dick just after rolling the Infogrames Flaming Dick Machine off the trailer…… I asked him how he was feeling heading into what is a very important stage of the season…..

“Im a bit nervous to be honest Murray……. Ted Finger, Matthew Kato and Josh Ginter have nothing to lose…… And will try anything out there today to keep their championship chances alive….. And rightfully so……. I just need to do what ive done all season long……. Qualify on the front row and lead exiting turn two…….. I have real good history here…… So its almost the perfect place to wrap up the championship…….. I just need to focus of coming first…… Like any good Dick should…….”

A nervous Dick Trickle is looking to set even more records tonight…….. He won here earlier this year and hes looking to do it again and wrap up the championship……..

Dont touch the sets...... Dont touch the dials...... You wont want to miss a single moment of the 2003 Weekly Dirt Racing Series action....… Practice and qualifying are coming up right now…...


Dick Trickle at the track ready to race.…

Practice was good for Dick……. He had the setup data from earlier in the year so he just had to roll off the trailer and run some laps to check everything was ok……..

Qualifying was up next….. Dick rolled onto the track looking very confident……. And rightly so….. Setting a time of 15.613 to claim pole…… 0.2 seconds quicker than defending champion Josh Ginter……

Matthew Kato was thirteenth with a time of 18.633...…….

But the big story…….. championship rival…… Ted Finger……. Posted a time of 18.360……. To be way down in twelfth…… That is terrible news for Finger……. He is in real danger of missing the A main……. And if he misses the A main…… Dick Trickle will be champion……...


Qualifying Results........

Dick Trickle heads the field to the flag for the 5 lap Heat 1 race……. Dick was not hanging around either as he got a good jump to lead into turn one…….. Dan Diamond was lagging behind as he fell way down the order exiting turn two…… Matthew Kato got a great start as well and worked his way quickly through to field to finish in second place…….

But Dick Trickle won the 5 lap Heat 1 race is ease……. By 6.461 seconds……. And making his way straight to the A Main…….

That means Matthew Kato and Josh Ginter are out of the running for the championship before the A Main even starts…….

In the Heat 2 race….. Ted Finger failed to make the A Main and had to finish in the top three in the B Main to transfer to the A Main…….

Ted Finger just managed to do it…… And will be starting twelfth in the A Main……. But he is way down on pace today……. Lets hope he can sort that out before the A Main…….


Heat 1 Results....…



Dick Trickle lined up ready to start the A Main......

The flag dropped for the 75 lap A Main Final……. Dick was a little limp of the line…… But got going hard with the thought of Finger touching him from behind…….. And by the exit of turn two Dick was back in his usual position…….. In the lead and squirting off into the distance……. And the fat lady started to sing…….

Josh Ginter fell away quickly……. Still having problems finding a balance between qualifying trim and race trim…… As he had another race to forget……. While struggling to maintain any speed and only managing to get seventh place……. seven laps behind the winner…… What a disaster of a year it has been for Ginter……. The championship hangover was very real for Josh…...

Matthew Kato had an even worse race…… If he was any slower he would have been going backwards…… Finishing nine laps behind the winner in a lowly tenth place…….

Al Grimstead and Mark Hunter had a ding dong battle for second……. Swapping paint at both ends of the track…… Neither wanting to surrender second place and it came right down to the final turn to decided who would take it……. And in the end it was Al Grimstead that narrowly held onto second place from Mark Hunter……. Although both where a massive three laps behind the winner……

Erik Truet and Alan Andersen had very quiet races…… Just circulating around the track and staying out of trouble…… Nothing much to say about either of them……. They finished down in fourth and fifth respectively…..

Ted Finger just had no answers today for Dick Trickle……… Ted tried his best but there was no speed to be found in the car all weekend…… In a race that he HAD to to win…… Ted could only manage a really disappointing sixth place….. five laps behind the winner……

The winner of the race and the 2003 Weekly Dirt Racing Series Champion…….. DICK…… TRICKLE………. Drove a faultless race today…… Leading all 75 laps and ended up with a record equalling three lap lead…….. The result of the race was never in doubt after the first lap……. And the championship was decided well before when Ted Finger could only manage twelfth in qualifying…….

Dick Trickle also set another record in what has been a phenomenal year…… He becomes the first driver in series history to wrap up the championship with two races left……. That is how dominate he has been this season……

The fat lady has well and truly sung as the Wisconsin native Dick Trickle takes a victory lap around Kingsfield Raceway……. With a 287 point lead and only a maximum of 220 points left in the championship…… Dick Trickle is now officially the 2003 Weekly Dirt Series Championship…….


A Main Results..…

I congratulated Dick in the winners circle…….. “YOU LITTLE RIPPER!!!!!……. What a season Murray…….. I got my first ever career win here last year and now I wrap up the championship at the very same race track…….. Its like it was meant to be..... I want to thank everyone who helped me along the way…….. My sponsors….. Infogrames, Togo Building Supply, Greenwitch Haulers And Steves Quick Mart……. Without them I wouldnt have been able to afford to keep going……… To the fans turning up every week to witness this big Dick create history….. Its been wonderful to race in front of you all……. And most important of all…….. To my lovely and beautiful wife Pussy Galore……. She is all the motivation I need to get out of the house and tinker with the car during the week and keep racing on the weekends…….” [Dick laughs and kisses Pussy Galore]

“Murray….. I told you…… I TOLD YOU during the off season that I was going to dominate like you had never seen before……. Last year Michael Schumacher dominated the 2002 FIA Formula One World Drivers Championship like no one had ever seen before…… In a season he himself described as “perfect”……. Well im not done yet Murray…….. There are two races left…… And I fully intend to win both of them to be the first ever driver to go undefeated in the Weekly Dirt Racing Series……”

That is one very happy Dick…… And why wouldnt he be…… I think hes going to enjoy himself tonight…… Pussy Galore might have to work some of her magic to calm him down……. What a season he has had indeed…….

Next week the 2003 Weekly Dirt Racing Series heads to Anoka City Speedway….. With the championship already wrapped up…… There is only pride on the line next week…… Dick wants the pride of getting the undefeated record…… Ted Finger wants the pride of beating Dick and getting a race win…… Josh Ginter was the pride of getting a good finish and Matthew Kato wants the pride of taking third place in the championship even though he missed one race……. Who will get the pride they desire????…… And who will fail???…...

Tune in next week for the answers to all these questions and more….. Exclusively here on Left Turn Heaven……..

This is Murray Eastlake reporting for Left Turn Heaven..... And until next time its goodbye from me....


Winnings.…



NASCAR Heat Weekly.…



2003 Weekly Dirt Racing Series Championship Standings after round 8 of 10.…







First lap A Main action....


Dino Crisis



“Its Resident Evil with dinosaurs” they said…… “It will be fun” they said…… Dino Crisis tries to mash together so many different ideas and it does not work……. Just like the Street Fighter 6 art style…….

I played the Dreamcast version of Dino Crisis and the graphics are really damn nice…… I believe this is based on the PC version…… Which is why the graphics are so nice…… The characters models are really well done……. The environment textures are also really nice for the time…… To me personally this looks so much better than the PlayStation version……

The sounds are nice…… The voice acting is much better and way less stilted than Resident Evil….. The dinosaur noises are nice and the ambient noises also add to the foreboding atmosphere…….

The controls are well…… Dated to say the least….. Tank controls all the way baby……. Nothing majorly wrong with them….. They work and the game is designed nicely around tank controls….. So yet again this is also a plus for me……

The storyline is simple……. April O’Neil has been kidnapped and its up to the Ninja Tur…….. Wait……. Wrong game *shuffles papers*…… Ahhhh here we go…….. Jill Valentine an elite STARS agent is sent in with a small team under the cover of darkness…….. Hold on thats wrong too…… *shuffles papers….. AGAIN*……. This time ive got it…… Regina an elite SORT (Yes…. Really….. “Secret Operation Raid Team”) agent is send in with a small team under the cover of darkness to rescue another SORT agent sent in earlier to infiltrate a dodgy looking “research” facility…… And its up to you the player to make sure the mission goes off without a hitch……

The gameplay is where the game really falls down though…….. The main enemy of the game is not dinosaurs……. Its locked doors with stupid code mini games to unlock…….. It really should have been called Locked Door Crisis……..

The dinosaurs themselves are a joke and are nothing but background furniture once you figure out the game is way easier if you just run past the dinosaurs and dont bother even trying to kill them….. There are a few times where you HAVE to kill dinosaurs but they are few and far between…… And there is also long periods of the game where there are zero dinosaurs to be found……. Leaving you with only frustrating door code mini games to keep you entertained……..

Other dazzling puzzles await you…….. Such is moving crates with a crane that has a limited number of movies……. How or why that makes sense ill never know…… Seriously…… Who would program a crane so it only has X number of moves to the right and X number of movies to left and same with forwards and backwards….. You have to move the boxes but you can only move left 3 times…….. Crane Control Crisis……..

The puzzles arnt that difficult but its the fact that they dont make sense……. That really pulls me out of the game….. Its like adventure game logic……. Combine the shoelace with the comb and it makes a grappling hook……. In what universe that works ill never know…… But thats adventure game logic…….

Overall Locked Door Crane Control Crisis really falls flat……. The storyline barely kept me invested…….. With the game descending into running all over the research facility to get menial tasks done with only locked doors and stupid crane games standing in my way…… This game could have been fantastic but no……. Long periods of nothing much to do…… And the dinosaurs are almost non existent in the second half of the game besides the last hour or so…….

Just play Resident Evil……. It might not have dinosaurs but its much better……. I think…… I have not played Resident Evil yet….. I should play that real soon……. If you really need a game with dinosaurs…… Just play the Cadillacs and Dinosaurs arcade game…… Its a much better game…...



Dino Crisis


Next week…… I need to buy some new tree loppers……… I hope to get back out in the garden and finish off cutting back the trees……. And I need to get Natasha out for more walks…….

As for gaming there will be more hardcore Dick Trickle racing action in NASCAR: Dirt to Daytona……. Killing more heretic scum in Warhammer 40K Boltgun…….. And ill be having a second midlife Dino Crisis……….

I did indeed finish my stupid quest of making a setup for every car at every track in NASCAR Heat 5……. And I did it all before Pengling finished her stupid Alien Crush quest……

Current setup checklist…...
Cup: 30 of 30
Xfinity: 30 of 30
Truck: 31 of 31
Dirt: 9 of 9

Well thats it from me…… Hope all you tuxers have a good week……

Now for my bad joke of the week……
Q: Why should you never fight a dinosaur???
A: Because you will get Jurass kicked…...
*ba dum.... tssssh…...*