G'Day fellow tuxers……. Its your interim host here once again…….. Its a raining Saturday here right now…….…… This week has been a terrible week and it started about 30 minutes after my post last week…….

I leant back in my chair and the car broke….. Causing me to go tumbling to the ground and smashing the back of my head against the hard wood floor…… Thankfully I dont have any brains so there was no damage…… I also hurt my back a bit……

The about an hour after that I had to go out…… And I parked the car to do what I needed to do and when I came back……. Some massive twunt…….. Had run into the back of my car and then drove off without leaving a note or anything…….

There was a smallish dent in the rear bumper bar and there where some scratches and the paint had chipped off……. So after getting home and having a closer look at it and having a look and what supplies I had…… I had all the paint and thinners I needed but I was out of masking tape…… And since its an old metal bumper bar thats been de-chromed and painted I need to fix it straight away to top it from rusting where the paint was now missing……. This is the kind of crap I really dont need…...

So after going back out and getting the masking tape…….. I was able to take the rear bumper bar off the car and get the dent out……. Sanded it all back and primed it and sanded and then painted it and sanded it and buffed it and now its back on the car…….

At least with an old car I can do it all myself……. It really annoys me how people can do that and not leave a note or anything…… The lack of respect for other peoples property really grinds my gears……

Besides that is been a miserable raining wet week….. Got rained on at least twice on my walks……

As for the chair……. That was not fixable…… So I had to get the old chair out of the garage to use for now until I get a new one……..

They say everything comes in threes…… The chair….. The car……. If you dont hear from me next week assume the third thing was me getting hit by a truck……..


Natasha


[+..••] As for gaming this week in Emulationville I played [+..••]

Arcade

Alien Syndrome (1987 Sega) - Run and Gun


Console

Dino Crisis 2 (2000 Capcom) - Sony PlayStation - Action
Gran Turismo 4 (2004 Sony) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Racing)
NASCAR: Dirt to Daytona (2002 Infogrames) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Racing)
NFL Blitz (1998 Midway) - Nintendo 64 - Sports (Football)


PC

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (2004 Rockstar) - Steam - Action
NASCAR Heat 5 (2020 Motorsport Games) - Steam - Sports (Racing)
Warhammer 40,000: Boltgun (2023 Focus Entertainment) - Steam - First Person Shooter


The Dick Trickles Racing Career: Part 20
NASCAR Dirt to Daytona: Part 20
Weekly Dirt Racing Series Season 2: Race 9

Intro music…... Hello and welcome to Left Turn Heaven..... Im Murray Eastlake and today im going to be bringing you all the action from the 2003 Weekly Dirt Racing Series: Round 9 of 10 here at Anoka City Speedway....…



Anoka City Speedway

Anoka City Speedway is 0.250 miles long with 6 degrees of banking…… This very tight and technical flat track requires an excellent handling car…… The racing groove is barely two lanes wide and deep thick mud awaits anyone who sides off the racing line…...

Last week……….. Dick Trickle created history by wrapping up the championship with two races left….. And he did it in style…… Winning by three laps at Kingsfield Raceway…… Dick looks to keep up his winning form…… As he eyes creating more history by going the entire season undefeated…….

Dick Trickle has gone a whole twelve months undefeated with the two wins to end last season…… His streak started here twelve months ago……. Will it end here today???

Ted Finger, Matthew Kato and Josh Ginter have now been relegated to driving just for pride this week….. But dont for a second think they wont be trying their best to dethrone a dominating Dick…..

Josh Ginter especially as last years champion has had a season to forget…… A win would really boost his confidence going into next season…… Lets hope he can sort his qualifying trim and race trim issues that have been plaguing him all season long…...

Dont count out Ted Finger either……. Hes had six top five finishes so far this season….. He would love to get into the winners circle…… Finishing second in the championship would still make the sponsors happy…..

Matthew Kato is sitting third in the championship even though he missed one race earlier this season……. He would love to get a win and challenge Ted Finger for second spot in the championship……

So if you think they are going to be taking it easy…. Think again……. There is still a lot on the line to fight for…… Even if for some…… It is just pride…..

Dont touch the sets...... Dont touch the dials...... You wont want to miss a single moment of the 2003 Weekly Dirt Racing Series action....… Practice and qualifying are coming up right now…...


Dick Trickle at the track ready to race.…

Practice was an easy time for Dick……. He had all the data from the last time with this fully upgraded car…… So all he had to do was set it up the way it was earlier in the year and he was done…… And boy was Dick quick out there……

Qualifying was up next and……. Well as you guessed……. Dick Trickle is not easing off at all out there this weekend……. As he set a blisteringly fast time of 15.917……. That puts him .4 of a second clear of Erik Truet…… With Mark Hunter rounding out the top three with a time of 16.551…….

Matthew Kato put on a good showing…… Putting up a 17.039 to claim fourth……. That should put in him good standing for a decent A Main starting spot…..

Ted Finger was going nowhere fast……. Only able to drag the car around in 18.671 seconds……. which was only good enough for tenth….. Finger has a lot of work to do to touch Dicks time…….

Last years champion Josh Ginter…… has a torrid season so far and it continues here today at Anoka…… 19.428…… Puts him way down the order in thirteenth and hes in real danger of not even making the A Main…….


Qualifying Results........

Dick Trickle led the field as the flag dropped for the 5 lap Heat 1 race…… And Dick wasted no time as he jumped out to an early lead……

Mark Hunter who started on the outside of the front row couldnt hang with dick…… As he stiffened up under pressure and ran wide at the first turn…… He faded back quickly…… Unable to recover Hunter finished the race in sixth……..

Jeff Fulton had a good race….. Starting in fourth he was able to get into second place by the time to chequered flag fell…..
John Bean had a fantastic race…… Starting tenth….. He climbed his way quickly through the field to snatch a fantastic third place finish…….

Josh Ginter also had a good Heat race as he also fought his way through the order to finish in a very respectable fourth place…...


Heat 1 Results....…



Dick Trickle lined up ready to start the A Main......

The flag fell for the 63 lap A Main race…… Dick Trickle was a little slow to start but held the inside going into turn one and was clear out in front by the exit of turn two……

Erik Truet was not fast enough to challenge Dick and was having a race to forget as he slowly but surely slid down the list……. Finishing in eighth place five laps behind the leader……

Matthew Kato was looking for a good race starting in fourth place……. But lost pace quickly as his setup did not work on the longer runs….. He did his best submarine impersonation as he sunk down the order…… For a man really needing a win he will be very disappointed with his finishing position as he was only able to get eleventh……

Josh Ginter climbed the order in the Heat race…… But he also had an A Main to forget as he went backwards at a rate of knots…… Tumbling down the order like a stone……. Managing to finish just in front of Matthew Kato in tenth place….. A truly devastating day for the Weekly Dirt Racing Series defending champion……

Ted Finger was so slow all weekend I forgot he was even here…… And I bet he wished he stayed at home as well…… And he was nowhere all weekend…… Starting the A Main in tenth he actually went backwards as he had no pace at all……. And was lucky to avoid last place……. As he finished way down the order in twelfth…. Of thirteen starters…….

The unlikely saviour of the race was David Brandt as he and Mark Hunter had a great battle for second……. Brandt qualified in eleventh……. Missed the A Main and was only able to make the A Main by finishing third in the B Main race……..

Brandt started the A Main in thirteenth…… And scrambled his way up the running order to find himself in a head to head battle for second place with Mark Hunter…… Hunter and Brandt swapped places many times during the race…… Until Mark Hunter spun the car trying to squeeze passed a lap car in a desperate bid to stay in touch with Brandt…….

David Brandt took an unlikely second place finish….. two laps behind the winner…… That was his first top five finish of the year…… And just goes to show that anything can happen in motorsports…..

Mark Hunter had to settle for third place…… Three laps behind the winner…… While Joe Fazioli and Alan Andersen who were four laps behind the winner and rounded out the top five finishers respectively……

But the winner was none other than Dick Trickle…… Who drove a completely faultless race…….. As he ran 63 laps without putting any damage on the Infogrames Flaming Dick Machine at all…… Winning by two laps…… Dick Trickle has yet again created history…… Being the first driver in the Weekly Dirt Racing Series to win nine races in a single season…… The Dick Domination seems to have no end in sight…… As thanks to the….. Well to put it bluntly…… Terrible day that Ted Finger, Matthew Kato and Josh Ginter had…… Dick Trickle extends his championship lead from 287 to 364 points…...


A Main Results..…

I ran into Dick in the winners circle…… “Thanks Murray…….. It was a fantastic race out there for me….. The car was so hooked up and a pleasure to drive…… I thought this track might be to small for the big ol Dick….. But there was just enough room to make the moves I needed to make and to keep car clean and straight…….”

“Thankfully the championship was also over or you would need to put Josh Ginter, Matthew Kato and Ted Finger on suicide watch…… They were so slow out there today and I seemed to lap them every six or seven laps…… I have never seen them that slow before……”

“Now we are off to the final race of the season…… At Baxter Fairgrounds Speedway…… Should be another good race and one I am eyeing up not damaging the car in…… Its long…. Its Fast……. Its big……. Its actually a lot like me…… At least thats what my wife Pussy Galore says……”

“But its been a great season so far and I fully intend to cap it off with another win…… I have not come this far into an undefeated season to throw it all away now…… See you next week Murray……”

There you have folks….. Straight out of the Dicks mouth……. And hes not shy about telling you exactly what he is thinking……

And sadly I did not get out of there in time as Dick sprayed me all over……… With champagne…….

Next week the 2003 Weekly Dirt Racing Series heads to Baxter Fairgrounds Speedway….. The final race of the season…… Can Dick Trickle go the entire season undefeated???….. Or will he get flaccid under the pressure???…… Can Ted Finger, Josh Ginter and/or Matthew Kato bounce back after a race to forget today???…. Or will David Brandt or another unlikely hero upset the apple cart and give Dick a hard time????…….

Tune in next week for the answers to all these questions and more….. Exclusively here on Left Turn Heaven……..

This is Murray Eastlake reporting for Left Turn Heaven..... And until next time its goodbye from me....


Winnings.…



NASCAR Heat Weekly.…



2003 Weekly Dirt Racing Series Championship Standings after round 9 of 10.…







First lap A Main action....


Dino Crisis 2



Dino Crisis had a mid life crisis and bought itself a sports car……. VROOOOOOOM!!!…..

Dino Mid Life Crisis 2 is a totally different game compared to the first one…….. Gone is the Resident Evil with dinosaurs theme and in with the fast paced dinosaur shooting that really should have been in the first game…..

The graphics are pretty nice for the PlayStation 1….. Its a downgrade from the Dreamcast original I played last week…… But for a PlayStation 1 they are really good…. Nice use of colours and the environments are nicely detailed……

Sounds are another nice area….. Similar to the first game the voice acting is well done……. The dinosaurs sound nice…. The music amps up nicely when action scenes start….. The ambient sounds add nice detail to the game…… Yeah no complaints here…….

Controls are well…… It still uses tank controls…. But like the first game the game is well designed around the tank controls that it doesnt ruin the game….. It just takes a bit of getting use too…… Once you get the hang of it the controls are perfectly serviceable……

Storyline…… April O’Neil has been kidnapped ans its up to the Ninja Tur…….. Why do I keep doing this???…… Taking place one year after the first game……. Its another reptile hunt……. The small but elite United States Armys TRAT (yes….. That is the name….. Tactical Reconnaissance and Acquisition Team…… Though we should be thankful the guy naming the team didnt have a speech impediment...... or we could have had..... "Tactical Weconnaissance and Acquisition Team"….) unit is sent in to investigate the disappearance of Edward City….. Yes an entire city has disappeared….. Maybe it was kidnapped…… Reginia joins TRAT as an adviser due to her past experiences.…… Sounds a lot like the plot to Aliens….. With reptiles…..

The gameplay is much faster and way more action packed……. Playing more like a third person shooter than a survival horror game….. There are a ton more dinosaurs this time and barely a moment goes buy when you are not being attacked by one…… There is a lot more running and shooting in this game….. This is really what the series should have been from the start…..

You get to play as Regina and Dylan Morton at different points as the game progresses…… This helps to break up the gameplay a bit……

There are also a few on rails sections that also help to break up the gameplay…….

Overall I found this to be a much better game than the first…… The dinosaurs are front and centre for the vast majority of the game…… Theres no crane control crisis and no locked door crisis either…… Its more a straight forward run and gun action game than anything else….. There are still keycards to collect….. But thankfully its a much more linier game than the first……. The fixed camera angles and tank controls are a bit awkward but thankfully they dont detract from the game much……

If you feel like getting Jurass kicked then play this game……. Its like a dumb action B movie with Arnie or Stallone…… Theres not much substance to them…… But you cant deny they are great fun to watch…..


Dino Crisis 2


Next week…… Hopefully the rain eases up so I can get out for more walks and I want to cut back a tree before the green bin gets collected again…….

As for gaming there will be more hardcore Dick Trickle racing action in NASCAR: Dirt to Daytona……. Killing more heretic scum in Warhammer 40K Boltgun…….. And maybe something of a hidden gem...…...

Well thats it from me…… Hope all you tuxers have a good week……

Now for my bad joke of the week……
Q: What do you call a woman thats really good at darts???
A: Amy…...
*ba dum.... tssssh…...*