G'Day fellow tuxers……. Its Bruce your host here once again…….. Its another Saturday here right now…….……


[+..••] As for gaming this week in Emulationville I played [+..••]

Arcade

Magician Lord (1990 Alpha Denshi) - Platformer


Console

ESPN NFL 2K5 (2004 Sega) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Football)
Grimace's Birthday (2023 Krool Toys) - Nintendo Game Boy Color - Platformer
Madden NFL 2003 (2002 EA Sports) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Football)
Mario's Tennis (1995 Nintendo) - Nintendo Virtual Boy - Sports (Tennis)
NASCAR: Dirt to Daytona (2002 Infogrames) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Racing)
NFL Fever 2002 (2001 Microsoft) - Microsoft Xbox - Sports (Football)
Pro Evolution Soccer 6 (2006 Konami) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Soccer)
Road Avenger (1993 Renovation) - Sega Mega-CD - Interactive Movie
Sonic Blast Man (1992 Taito) - Super Nintendo Entertainment System - Beat 'em up
Sonic the Hedgehog (1991 Sega) - Sega Game Gear - Platformer
Tecmo Super Bowl 2024 (2023 TecmoBowl.org) - Nintendo Entertainment System - Sports (Football)
TOCA Touring Car Championship (1997 Codemasters) - Sony PlayStation - Sports (Racing)


PC

NASCAR Heat 5 (2020 Motorsport Games) - Steam - Sports (Racing)
Race 07 (2007 SimBin) - Steam - Sports (Racing)
SRX: The Game (2021 Monster Games) - Steam - Sports (Racing)


Dick Trickles Racing Career: Part 45
NASCAR Dirt to Daytona: Part 45
Featherlite Modified Series Season 2: Race 11

Intro music…... Hello and welcome to Left Turn Heaven exclusively on the Crass Racing Association Programming..... Im Murray Eastlake and today im going to be bringing you all the action from the 2005 Featherlite Modified Series: Round 11 of 11 here at Martinsville……..


Dicks birthday is soon…..




Martinsville Raceway…….


Martinsville Speedway is 0.526 miles long with 12 degrees of banking in the turns….. This track has two long straights with two tight turns at each end which is how got it got the nickname of “The Paperclip”….. You need good horsepower for the straights and a very good handling for the tight turns at each end…… Thanks to its unique shape and narrow width with a short track length…... Martinsville is always known to be the track where anything can happen…… And tempers are always running hot…… Watch out for the chrome horn…….

It might be the final race of the season but there is still a lot to race for…….. Dick is racing for the perfect season and a “Special Surprise” from Pussy Galore……. Francis Lee is racing to keep second place in the championship…….. Joel York and Gray Soros are racing to take second of Francis Lee…… William Anderson is racing to reclaim his championship winning form…… And Jason Sulivan is racing to end Dicks perfect season…….

Dont touch the sets...... Dont touch the dials...... You wont want to miss a single moment of the 2004 Featherlite Modified Series....… Practice and qualifying are coming up right now……


Dick Trickle at the track ready to race.…


Dick ran a few laps to make sure everything was setup the way he liked it and everything was in perfect running order……. He then upped the pace for a few laps before coming into the paddock area…… He had a huge smile on his face as Dick was very happy with how the car was performing…….

Qualifying was up next……. And Dick was again the man to beat as he set another pole position time of 19.519…… Dick has now captured all 11 pole positions for the season…….. A perfect sweep for the season…… Dick was a full 2 seconds faster than the out going champion Jason Sulivan who set a time of 21.596……. He is going to need to find a lot of pace to stay with Dick today……

Third was Francis Lee who set a time of 22.003…… He is looking good to hold onto his second place in the championship…….

Fourth was Joel York who again is just behind Francis Lee…… As he set a 22.313……. He is in a good position to challenge for that second place in the championship…….

And rounding out the top five is former series champion William Anderson who only just missed out on fourth place with a time of 22.393…… He was so close to capturing fourth place……

Gray Soros has a lot of work to do to reclaim second place in the championship…… He will be starting a disappointing sixth position as he set a time of 22.574…….. He will be looking to make up positions off the start line…….



Qualifying Results........



Dick Trickle lined up ready to start the race......


For the final time in 2005 Dick leads the field to the green flag for this 100 lap race……. Dick got a terrible start and limped off the line while Jason Sulivan thrust the car into the lead……

Dick was fighting Joel York down the front straight with Francis Lee right behind him…….. William Anderson was not going to left behind either as he was sticking with them off the start………

As they entered turn one Dick thrust the Grinch Performance Modified Flaming Dick Machine deep up the inside surprising Jason Sulivan…… Dick managed to hold the inside line this time and hung Sulivan out to dry on the outside……..

Not one to miss out on the action Francis Lee followed Dick and as they all exited turn two Dick had the clear lead with Francis Lee now getting the best of Jason Sulivan……. Joel York was right behind Lee reading to follow Lee if he made a move…….

As they entered turn three Francis Lee made the move stick up the inside…… And this allowed Joel York to follow through…… Jason Sulivan was looking very frustrated to be stuck on the outside…….

Joel York was able to complete the move as they entered turn one again…….. William Anderson tried to join in on the action but Jason Sulivan was having on of it and slammed the door shut with authority………

Dick had already built a huge lead as the Grinch Performance Flaming Dick Machine was looking superb out there today……. While behind him Francis Lee, Joel York and Jason Sulivan were having a great battle…….

You could throw a blanket over the three men…… As they were all fighting very hard for second, third and fourth place…… As they came to lapped traffic thats when things really got interesting……

The lapped traffic was causing issues for all three men…… And this allowed for many changes in the running order….. With all three men swapping positions almost every lap……. It was great viewing for the spectators but im sure all three drivers were not as happy as the viewers…….

While William Anderson had well and truly dropped off from the three in front…… He just couldnt keep up with them…… He is almost looking resigned to taking fifth place……..

Up front and Dick is having no such issues….. He is using the outside line superbly to get passed the traffic with ease……… And he is really putting on a sensational drive……

At the half way stage Dick has a five lap lead…… And there are no signs of him slowing down…… He wants to end the season in style and make a huge statement at the same time……

Joel York currently holds down second….. Defending well from Francis Lee……. Who is trying to attack York while at the same time defend from Jason Sulivan who right up his rear……..

William Anderson is in a distant fifth place….. With Gray Soros even further back……. Soros has no answers out there for the five in front and he is watching second place in the championship slip further away with every lap………

Joel York is still in second when it comes to another gaggle of lapped cars……. This time he makes a huge mistake and dip a wheel onto the grass and spins the car……. He is now facing the wrong way and has to be really careful not to cause a huge crash getting back going again……..

Francis Lee is now in second place and he still has Jason Sulvian right up his rear…… Sulivan is looking much faster at this stage of the race…… But Lee is doing a great job holding onto second place……

As the laps wind down Dick has a lead so big that he might be back home before the rest of the field finish…… He has totally dominated this race after turn two……. Its has been amazing to watch…….

Francis Lee is holding down second….. Just…… As he comes up to a group of lapped cars he gets boxed in by a very slow David Canepa and Phil Shields…….. Jason Sulivan doesnt need a second invitation and jumps to the outside……

Jason Sulivan sweeps around the outside of the slower cars and over takes the trapped Francis Lee for second place…… What a sensational race this has been……. Lee finally gets clear of the two slower cars but he lost to much time to catch Sulivan……

Dick came up behind Jason Sulivan to put him another lap down….. Feeling the pressure of Dick up his rear Sulivan blocks Dick……. Dick tried to make another move to pass Sulivan but again Sulivan slammed the door shut this time with authority…….

Dick shook his head seeing the actions of Jason Sulvian and made one more attempt to put Sulivan another lap down……. Dick almost got the move done but Sulivan turned into Dick and the two made heavy contact…….

Dick turns the wheel towards Sulvian and the extra power of the Grinch Performance Modified Flaming Dick Machine proved to be the difference as he pushes Jason Sulivan up into the outside wall….. Sulivan goes up on two wheels for a moment and loses all his momentum and this allows dick to finally get the move done…….

As the chequered flag waved to not only end the race but the season as well……. Dick claims a historic victory……. Capturing that perfect season he so dearly wanted……. And making a huge statement as he won by a mammoth 11 laps over second place…… I dont think ive ever seen anyone dominate a race like that before…….

Second place was Jason Sulivan who did it the hard way battling almost the entire race….. His good drive was undone with his brush with Dick at the end…… Im sure many spectators will not be happy about those moves he made on Dick……

Third was Francis Lee….. While he will be disappointed with not taking second in todays race…… He will be very happy capturing second place in the championship…… Which was the main goal…… He has driven very well this season and is justly rewarded for it……

Fourth was Joel York who again threw away a good result and allowed Francis Lee to finish ahead of him….. Its not all doom and gloom for York though….. As he was able to secure fourth place in the championship…….

And rounding out the top five was former series champion William Anderson who will be bitterly disappointed with that result……. He has never been able to recapture the form that won him a championship in 2003…… And now there are whispers around the paddock area that Anderson is a one and done in this series…….. He will have to do a lot of soul searching during the off season to see if he can find that championship winning form again…….

Gray Soros had a day to forget……. He came home in sixth place…… losing both second and third in the championship and will be fourth in the standings……. He showed a lot of pace this year but was very inconsistent…… Hes another one who will have long hard looks in the mirror to see if he has what it takes to be a real championship contender…….



Race Results..…

Dick celebrates his historic victory with a huge burnout that goes around the entire track…….. The crowd goes totally mental…… A huge “THANK YOU DICK” chant breaks out as smoke fills the grandstand…… Between the crowd noise and the screaming of Dicks engine its almost deafening……

After the burn out Dick slowly rolls out of the smoke like a true championship…… The crowd again breaks into a huge cheer and whistles as Dick drives down the pit lane to get to victory lane…….

Jason Sulivan who is irate after the race jumps on top of the pit wall and runs along the wall…… He then jumps off the pit wall and does what looks to be a flying elbow onto Dicks car as he drives past….. causing extensive damage to the bodywork of Dicks car……

With Jason Sulivan still on the car the two men yell obscenities at each other as Dick climbs out of the car with Sulivan climbing down off the car and pointing over at at the wall Dick pushed him into earlier…… Jason Sulivan pushes Dick and Dick not being a man to step down pushes him right back…… As they both yell at each other Sulvian tries to throw a punch at Dick but Dick is just able to push Sulivan away in time to make the punch miss……

Dick retaliates by kicking Jason Sulivan right in the plums…….. Dick kicks him with so much force that Dicks foot almost disappears up Sulivans rectum…….. Dick the gives Sulivan one last almighty “*BEEP* YOU” before throwing his punch that connects right on the chin of Sulivan…..

Jason Sulivan is on the ground……. Holding his groin with blood flowing from his mouth…… Dick stands over him continuing to yell obscenities as Sulivan…….

Finally the crews and officials come over to separate the two men……. Jason Sulivan is loaded onto a stretcher and taken to the medical facility….. While Dick is ushered back to his car and ordered to go straight to victory lane……..

Dick finally rolls into victory lane with damage on the roof and bonnet of the car from Jason Sulivans WWE style flying elbow move off the pit wall...……

Dick climbs out of the car again and celebrates with Pussy Galore…… She is really happy that only did he win the race but he won the fight too……. I grab Dick to get a word with the now official 2005 Featherlite Modified Series Champion……….. “Thanks Murray……. What a season….. PERFECT SEASON……... CHAMPION…….. YEAHHHHHHHHHH…… I could not have wished for a better season…….. Im glad it is over though and I dont have to look at that twunt [Jason] Sulivan for a few months……. He aint nothing than a punk kid and he wont ever progress past the Featherlite Modified Series unless he changes his attitude and driving style…….. Hopefully I knocked a bit of sense into him…… If not I can always try again and a later date…...”

“Well im now officially the champion Murray…….. Its been a great year for the whole team…… Last week we took the Dirt Series Championship and this week we take the Modified Series Championship……. Its been a good year to be a Dick……..”

“I would like to thank my sponsors Grinch Performance as well as Gallop Inc, Ferris Financial, Fungili & Co and Don’s Fish and Chip…….. They have all been great supporters of the team this year…… And I would also like to thank the entire crew who has helped a ton to run these two cars…… Without them I wouldnt be able to run two series the way that I do thats for sure……..”

“I also need to thank the lovely Pussy Galore….. For her support she has given me over the year…… Theres no other woman like Pussy…….. Who else could keep this Dick in check????…….”

“The off season will be busy….. *Dicks looks at the damage Jason Sulivan caused with the flying elbow* We will have to fix that for a start…….. And I will be asking NASCAR to make him pay for it……. Its a pity we need to get these positions before NASCAR will do anything…… Its like they enjoy watching cars get tore up and seeing us spend money repairing them………”

“As for 2006…. I have some plans in motion and im just waiting for some pieces to fall into place before I can make any comments about the teams future……. I know one thing is for certain…… Twunts like [Jason] Sulivan wont stop me racing…….”

“its now time to celebrate and enjoy the night and to find out what the special surprise Pussy Galore has for me since I completed the perfect season……. Im sure we will catch up during the off season Murray……. Will see you then…….”

Well there you have it folks…….. Another race has been entered into the great book of motorsport…...

The 2005 Featherlite Modified Series Championship is done and dusted…… A season full of ups and downs…… A season full of heartbreak and tears…… A season full of anger and fights……. A season where history was made and stories were created that will last a life time……. Its been a fantastic season and one of the best I have ever witnessed in my all years covering the Featherlite Modified Series…...

Left Turn Heaven is not done either…… As we have a series of special off-season shows to keep you up to date on all the latest off-season news from the Featherlite Modified Series……. Next week we will be having a sit down interview with the one and only Dick Trickle……

So make sure to tune in to see what Dick has been up to during the off season…… Same CRAP time…….. Same CRAP network…….

This is Murray Eastlake reporting for Left Turn Heaven exclusively here on Crass Racing Association Programming..... Dick Trickle is your 2005 Featherlite Modified Series Champion…… And until next time its goodbye from me….


Winnings.…



NASCAR Heat Weekly.…



2005 Modified Series Championship Standings after round 11 of 11.…







First lap Modified Dick action....


***INTERMISSION……...***


2023 Advent Gaming Calendar

Its that time of year again……. I gave my lovely assistant a list of 40+ games I have never played before……. My assistant had the task of culling the list down to 25 games and putting them in order for the Gaming Advent Calendar……. And I have no idea what games made the cut and what order they are in……

Day 9 of the 2023 Gaming Advent Calendar was……..

Mario's Tennis (1995 Nintendo) - Nintendo Virtual Boy - Sports (Tennis)

My first time playing the Virtual Boy…… It wasnt as bad as I thought it would be…… The graphics besides being searing red are actually very decent…… Even playing a doubles game is fine and you can tell the characters apart without to much issue…….. Sounds are….. well…… there…… The music is cheery…….

The gameplay is fine…… Getting the timing right for hitting the ball will take a bit to get use too……. Besides that its tennis…… With Mario characters……. What more do you want???…...


Day 10 of the 2023 Gaming Advent Calendar was……..

Grimace's Birthday (2023 Krool Toys) - Nintendo Game Boy Color - Platformer

Well that was a 10 minute acid trip…… Its a very and short easy game…… It consists of two very short levels….. one is Grimace riding a skateboarding through what looks to be the sewer to rescue The Hamburgler……. And the second is Grimace running and jumping from roof top to roof top…….. To rescue Birdie…… There is no Ronald in this game…….

There are also bad “adverts” for McDonalds between the levels……. The controls are ok and the game looks nice……. It would be fine to give to your snot nosed kid to keep them quiet in the back of the car for awhile on their phone……. Besides that it has very little actual value……. Much like their food……..


Day 11 of the 2023 Gaming Advent Calendar was……..

Road Avenger (1993 Renovation) - Sega Mega-CD - Interactive Movie

The QTE Interactive Movie experience of the future……. The graphics are nice for the time if a bit grainy by todays standards…….. Nice use of colour for the Mega-CD……. The controls are simple….. Left, Right, Turbo and Brake…… Follow the onscreen prompts to not crash and
die……..

Very simple gameplay with some nice graphics…… Well worth to play through once to see the future of video gaming……. Only issue is once you have played it there is very little reason to play it again……..


Day 12 of the 2023 Gaming Advent Calendar was……..

NFL Fever 2002 (2001 Microsoft) - Microsoft Xbox - Sports (Football)

This is a very very good NFL game……. Not as well known as it was exclusive to the Xbox…… Games hold up very well and the gameplay while more on the arcade side is still very solid and holds up well today……..

The graphics are excellent for the Xbox with very nice fabric detail…… Controls are simple and easy to pick up…… Sounds are great……. Presentation is also very nice with lots of player photos and stats like a real NFL broardcast……..

A lot of time and effort went into this game……. And its well worth a play for anyone who is bored of ESPN NFL 2K5 or Madden NFL 2003/08……...


Day 13 of the 2023 Gaming Advent Calendar was……..

Magician Lord (1990 Alpha Denshi) - Platformer

This game is not good….. Its not good at all…… The main character, levels, enemies, bosses, sounds, music all suck…… Controls are ok……. Thats about the only good thing I can say about this……. Even the graphics are subpar for the Neo-Geo……. Its just one big pile of…….


Day 14 of the 2023 Gaming Advent Calendar was……..

Sonic the Hedgehog (1991 Sega) - Sega Game Gear - Platformer

Its Sonic……. But on a hand held…… Its not a bad game……. There are a few irritating sections…… And sonics design does not lend himself well to precision platforming…… The controls are slippery….. Sonic move way to much after lifting the directional button constantly feels like Sonic is on ice…… The music is ok…… Its on the Game Gear so its not as good as the Mega Drive…….. And the graphics are nice for a hand held of that period…….. Lots of bright colours…….. There are some performance issues in certain sections…… They definitely pushed the hardware of the Game Gear to hard…..

Its not a bad game for anyone who wants to play Sonic on the go……. There are much worse Sonic games out there thats for sure……...


Day 15 of the 2023 Gaming Advent Calendar was……..

Sonic Blast Man (1992 Taito) - Super Nintendo Entertainment System - Beat 'em up

A by the numbers beat ‘em up that ends up being very very average…….. The game drags quite a bit with even level one thugs taking a lot of hits to kill……. And sonic blast man moves so slow……. The graphics are really nice……. I do love the look of the 16bit consoles……. Sounds are nice with some nice music…….. Controls are ok…….. Its 1 player only which really sucks…..

Its very average all round……. Worth a play if you want to try something a bit different…… Just dont expect a masterpiece……


The Road To PES Penguin 6


The road to unlock the PES Penguin in Pro Evolution Soccer 6 is at 1900 PES points out of 5000……….


Next week…… There will be more hardcore modified Dick Trickle racing action in NASCAR: Dirt to Daytona……. 2023 Gaming Advent Calendar…….. And more PES Penguin 6……….

Well thats it from me…… Hope all you tuxers have a good week……

Now for my bad joke of the week……
Q: How does Rudolph know its Christmas?????........
A: He checks the Calen-deer.......
*ba dum.... tssssh…...*