G'Day fellow tuxers……. Its Bruce your host here once again…….. Its another Saturday here right now…….……


[+..••] As for gaming this week in Emulationville I played [+..••]

Arcade

Metamorphic Force (1993 Konami) - Beat 'em up


Console

Dakar 2: The World's Ultimate Rally (2003 Acclaim) - Nintendo GameCube - Sports (Racing)
ESPN NFL 2K5 (2004 Sega) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Football)
Madden NFL 2003 (2002 EA Sports) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Football)
NASCAR: Dirt to Daytona (2002 Infogrames) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Racing)
Pro Evolution Soccer 6 (2006 Konami) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Soccer)
Tecmo Super Bowl 2024 (2023 TecmoBowl.org) - Nintendo Entertainment System - Sports


PC

art of rally (2020 Funselektor Labs) - Steam - Sports (Racing)
NASCAR Heat 5 (2020 Motorsport Games) - Steam - Sports (Racing)
OutRun 2006: Coast 2 Coast (2006 Sega) - Steam - Sports (Racing)
Race 07 (2007 SimBin) - Steam - Sports (Racing)
SRX: The Game (2021 Monster Games) - Steam - Sports (Racing)


Where in the world is Dick Trickle???…...

After many hours Dick finally stumbles upon something he vaguely recognises....... He sees a large assortment of racing vehicles....... He knows they are racing vehicles...... But cant place what series they are for....... Intrigued Dick makes his way over to the vehicles...... Hoping that someone will know English....... As he gets closer he can see that there are Cars, Bikes and Trucks all lined up....... And every vehicles has a "2001 Paris-Dakar Rally" sticker on them........

Dick is enamoured by the huge trucks....... They look like they could take on any track you would put them on....... He looks at the front of the Vehicles........ "KAMAZ"..... "MAZ"........ "TATRA"........ "I have never heard of these trucks before" Dick says to himself....... As he continues to walk around the huge fleet of vehicles Dick sees a man in a blue "KAMAZ-Master" shirt yelling on the phone to someone...... He looks so stressed and that Dick figures he will have a heart attack in less than 30 seconds......

Dick goes up to the yelling stressed man and asks "Do you speak English????......"

"YES I DO....... I HAVE A SICK DRIVER AND I NEED TO FIND A REPLACEMENT........... UNLESS YOU CAN DRIVE ONE OF THESE TRUCKS THEN LEAVE ME ALONE........" The very stressed man yells with a thick Russian accent......

Dick tilts his head back and looks up at the behemoth of a vehicle beside him and with a twinkle in his eye says "Yeah..... Sure I can drive one of those trucks......" The stressed man looks long and hard at Dick...... "Right then......" says the stressed man....... "Get in and show me what you can do" he continues......

Dick gets in and the very stressed man gets in the passenger side........ "My name is Vladimir Chagin" says the very stressed man....... "And im Dick Trickle" says Dick........ Vladimir Chagin has to suppress a laugh when he hears that....... "Thats...... Thats really your name???" says Vladimir Chagin still trying not to laugh........ "Yes it is" Dick says adamantly........ "Ok then..... Dick...... Follow my instructions and lets see if you have any balls to go with that Dick......." instructs Vladimir Chagin.......

Dick drives the 8 ton Kamaz truck and follows Vladimir Chagin instructions to the letter........ Showing great skill in navigating the narrow streets of what Dick now assumes to be Paris.......

After the impromptu test...... Vladimir Chagin is very pleased with how Dick handled the truck....... And when Vladimir Chagin finds out that Dick is American....... He sees this as a great opportunity to help sooth the very strained Russian/American relationship....... By having an American in a Russian owned race team showing Russians willingness to work with Americans.........

Vladimir Chagin asks for Dicks FIA International Licence that is needed to compete in the Paris-Dakar Rally...... Sadly this is 2001..... Before Dick started his Weekly Dirt Racing Series career in 2002........ Dick opens his wallet...... Knowing full well he didnt have a FIA International Licence but was stalling for time to think of something.......... To Dicks utter surprise....... There is a FIA Super Licence in his wallet...... And its in date too...... Dick has no idea how it got there and was not going to ask any questions and handed his FIA Super Licence to Vladimir Chagin....... And with that Dick was fully registered and now officially part of the KAMAZ-Master team....... Dick will be driving the number 429 Kamaz Rally Raid Monster for the KAMAZ-Master team known affectionately as "The Blue Amarda"......

Dick will be replacing Serguei Guiria who has been taken ill and will be unable to compete in the 2001 Paris-Dakar Rally......

Dick Trickles Racing Career: Part 48
Dakar 2: The World's Ultimate Rally: Part 1
2001 Paris-Dakar Rally: Part 1


NEW Intro music and video Hello and welcome to Kamaz Heaven exclusvely on the Crass Racing Association Programming........ Im Murray Eastlake and today im going to be bringing you all the Kamaz action from the 2001 Paris-Dakar Rally.......

Late drama for the KAMAZ-Master team........ Their driver Serguei Guiria got kidney stones on the last day before the Paris-Dakar Rally started........ And KAMAZ-Master was left struggling to find a replacement driver in time........ Thankfully they found one in the form of American driver Dick Trickle who was just enjoying a holiday in Paris and now finds himself a part of the Blue Amarda....... Dick is a Paris-Dakar rookie and well by the looks of it a complete Rally Raid rookie as well..........

The 2001 Paris-Dakar Rally will be twelve gruelling stages....... starting in Artois, France and finishing on Dakar Breach, Dakar........ With only one rest day at the half way point.......

Since 1977 The Paris-Dakar Rally has been the largest yearly rally raid event....... This is a true endurance test of both man and machine in some of the most hostile terrain in the world........ And no other race on earth will put both man and machine to such a test...... For many just finishing the rally will be considered a win........ And many will be going home disappointed.......

Kamaz are here looking for their third Paris-Dakar victory with their brand new Kamaz 49256 truck……. And looking for back to back victories after Vladimir Chagin won the event last year…….. He will be looking to repeat that feat this year…… While Dick Trickle being a rookie will be looking to have a solid race and finish the event……

As for the other Trucks……. Karel Loprais will be looking to add to his record five Paris-Dakar victories……. While Tatra with their T815 spearheaded by Karel Loprais and Mercedes-Benz with their Unimog spearheaded by the 1985 Le Mans 24 Hour Winner Paolo Barilla will be trying to add to their record five victories as well…..

Will Tatra or Mercedes-Benz break the tie and claim the outright record for themselves???…… Can Kamaz get their third Paris-Dakar victory???….. Can Vladimir Chagin get back to back victory??…… Or will Dick Trickle upset them all on debut???…….

Dont touch the sets…….. Dont touch the dials…….. You wont want to miss a single moment of the 2001 Paris-Dakar Rally action………


The 2001 Paris-Dakar Rally Route......



#429 Kamaz 49256 Rally Raid Truck......



The 2001 Paris-Dakar Rally Welcome......



Stage 1: Artois......


Stage 1 takes place around Artois….. Two laps around this tarmac/gravel section is the perfect warmup to check everything is set up properly before its to late……

Dick takes his starting position……. As the countdown commences the roar of the mighty engine is almost deafening……. Dick is off on a flash when the co-driver says zero……. And soon he is making his first turn in his rally raid career…….

Dick controls the truck through the transition between tarmac and gravel….. Dick was listening to the instructions from the co-driver very intently as he narrowly avoids the bridge that has caught out many a driver……

He catches up the other competitors who started before him……. Showing his is indeed making good time……. He passes the car with ease but the MAN truck is being more difficult to pass and Dick is forced to go off the gravel track to find a way past thought a very tight right hand corner……

Lastly the narrow bike was easy to pass on the large highway section to end the first lap…… Dick was pushing hard and making staggering time…… The second lap was clear and he was able to run all the lines he needed too without a huge MAN truck in the way………

Dick finished stage 1 without any issues and the Kamaz was looking very strong……. To the surprise of many including Vladimir Chagin…… Dick had set the fastest time and was leading the truck timesheets at the end of the day…….. With Karel Loprais in the Tatra T815 right behind Dick in second and third placed Paolo Barilla leading a pack of four Mercedes Benz Unimogs…….


Stage 2 Chateauroux......


Stage 2 takes place around Chateauroux….. 1 lap around a purpose built off road track designed to push machinary to the limit that is a combination of mud and tarmac……. And with the rain pelting down this will sort out the boys from the men……

Dick set off from the start line…… The mighty Kamaz sliding all over the place in the wet mud…… As the rain continued the pelt down Dick soon came up to a Tatra truck…… The Tara was very hard to pass on this narrow track and contact was made as Dick penetrated his way through the Tatra……

Dick suffered minor damage with his left headlight now not functioning……. But he was still soldiering on…… Dick slid up the inside of the car through the slippery hairpin…… The handbreak used to perfection to help maneuver the hulking Kamaz passed the car…….

Dick drove clear around the outside of a bike at another hairpin…… The Kamaz was set up perfectly for the conditions…….

Dick hit the tarmac section and flew down the road…… Slamming on the breaks when getting to the large round-a-bout and sliding the mammoth around with ease……. Dick finished the stage with a really good time and the KAMAZ-Master team was very impressed with Dick after the second stage……. He has managed to not only retain the truck lead in the rally but also extend it in those terrible conditions……. With Karel Loprais still in second and Paolo Barilla still holding down third place……...


Stage 3: Castilla La Mancha......


Stage 3 takes place around Castilla La Mancha……. 2 laps around this tarmac/dirt will see drivers make water crossings as well and content with large dips and rocks that could spell disaster for the machinery……. At least the rain has stopped…...

Dick takes off on the tramac section with the roar of the engine…… Through the snaky tarmac section and Dick was driving like a man possessed…… Dick put the Kamaz into a full power slide as course transitioned onto dirt….. He was quickly catching the MAN truck in front……. And caught him during the very tight switch back sections……

Dick again used the handbrake to try and get passed the man…… It did not work the first time but it did during the second one…… And now Dick had a car to contend with…… Thankfully Dick didnt catch to car until after the switch back section and easily go past through the much more option section of the course……..

It was the similar story passing the bike with Dick catching the bike just at the right spot to blast past losing minimal amount of time……..

Dick had no trouble with the water crossing……. And was soon starting the second lap……. And with clear track in front of him he was able to blast through the lap with ease…….. The KAMAZ-Master team doing a fantastic job setting up the truck for Dick who is having no troubles driving it….. While Karel Loprais and Paolo Barilla remain well and truly within striking distance of Dick…….


Stage 4: Atlas Mountains......


The first point to point stage of the Paris-Dakar will see the drivers take on the Atlas Mountains……. This dirt/tarmac stage over the mountain ranges will take a toll on man and machine…….

Dick takes off and drives well for the first part of the stage……. He has a cunning plan though……. And takes advantage of the forks on the route to get passed the other competitors without actually battling them……. He gains a lot of time by doing this……..

Dick uses the Kamazs superb setup to tame the dangerous steep twisty mountain section in another fork to gain even more time…… Dick is not looking like a rookie here today as he is using all the tricks of a seasoned pro to get the job done……. He makes the tight twisty sections look easy as he powers through the stage almost with ease…….

As he reaches the flat open areas hes able to really stretch the legs of the Kamaz 49256…… As he blasts past houses and buildings at near top speed…… Dick slides the mighty truck through the final few turns and crosses the finish line…….

Even with the time gained……. Karel Loprais and Paolo Barilla are still there ready to strike if Dick makes any mistakes……. He needs to be careful……


Stage 5: Sahara......


The 2001 Paris-Dakar Rally finally reaches the desert……. This wide open point to point sandy section will test the navigators as there are almost zero landmarks to work with in the desert……. And with no set route…… Make it to the checkpoints anyway you want……. This could spell disaster for some teams……..

Dick takes off from the start line….. And races into the wide unknown……. The hulking Kamaz looks like a tiny spec compared to the massive desert…….

There was again no real battling to get past the slower vehicles as the wide open nature of the Sahara meant there was plenty of room for Dick to thrust his way past without touching the sides……

He dispensed of the other vehicles quickly and was soon taking on the largest dunes in the desert…… The Kamaz was again in great shape and was handling the desert very well….. And Dick was soon mounting the dunes like a pro…….

Towards the end and the navigator advised Dick to the final large dune at full speed……. Dick did as he was told and was got the mammoth Kamaz airborn over the dune…… Amazingly he was able to clear the huge rocks jutting out of the other side of the dune……. That was very risky indeed…..

But it paid off and Dick was again the fastest man in the truck class…… Karel Loprais and Paolo Barilla are now almost 7 minutes behind…… Still close enough should Dick get himself into trouble……


Stage 6: Ahaggar Mountains......


The final stage before the rest day…… And the Ahaggar Mountains will be a very tough and challenging to finish the first half of the Paris-Dakar one…….. The point to point route will take the competitors along the top of the mountains in a very tight and twisty track with a very steep drop over the edge if you make a mistake……. This stage is not for the faint of heart…..

Dick tore off from the start line determined to end the first half with another stage win……. They very tight and twisty nature of this route making it very hard for Dick to get passed the car and MAN truck in front and Dick had to wait for the right opportunity to get past at one of the many tight hairpins…….

The route was also taking its toll on the Kamaz…… As the many tight hairpins caused a brake issue for Dick and he was forced to adapted his driving style to suit the issues he was having……. Which meant no more handbrake in the hairpins….. This cost him some time as he was not able to take the hairpins as tight as he would have liked and he ran wide a few times almost scraping the mountain face a few times……

Dick was very releaved the cross the finish line…… This was by far the hardest stage he had faced……. And it was only the half way point…….. Once again Karel Loprais was second on the stage and Paolo Barilla was third……






2021 Paris-Dakar Rally full race standings after 6 stages......


After a truly gruelling 6 stages it is now time for the rest day...... And what a week it has been in the 2001 Paris-Dakar Rally..…

I managed to get a word with Dick the race leader at the half way stage of the Paris-Dakar…… “Yeah Murray the Kamaz 49256 has been awesome to drive…… Lots of power in that engine……. The crew has been fantastic too…… The setups for each stage have been absolutely superb…… I seriously cant fault this KAMAZ-Master team…….. They work really hard after each stage to make sure the truck is in tip top shape for the next day…….”

“The event so far has been really tough and challenging…… Trying to this is huge truck through some of that tight and twisty stuff has been a nightmare….. Im starting to feel the effects of six straight days of racing and im well and truly looking forward to a day off tomorrow….. I am going to need it…….”

“I have a handy lead in the standings…… But 8 minutes is not much…… One roll over……. One collision with a tree or a rock and that 8 minutes will evaporate very quickly……. And with 6 gruelling stages still to go……. Its far from over Murray…….. As the team reminds me every night…… The Paris-Dakar is a hard mistress and she can turn on you like that *Dick snaps his fingers*…… Tomorrow I can relax and enjoy the day but then after that is back to full concentration mode and not let the Paris-Dakar defeat me…….”

“All I can do now is drive the way the team and the navigator instructs me too and I hope to make it through the next 6 stages unscathed and make the finish like in Dakar……. Hopefully I will see you there Murray…….”

Well there you have it folks…… That is one truly focused Dick…….

Can Karel Loprais or Paolo Barilla get their act together during the rest day and spoil Dicks party…… Will Dick shrink under pressure and fail to rise the occasion???…….. Will the hard mistress of the Paris-Dakar claim another victim???………

Tune in next week for the answers to all these questions and more….. Exclusively here on Kamaz Heaven…….. Same CRAP time…… Same CRAP network………..

This is Murray Eastlake reporting for Kamaz Heaven exclusively here on Crass Racing Association Programming..... And until next time its goodbye from me……








Hard Trucking Dick Action…….


***INTERMISSION……...***


Dakar 2: The World's Ultimate Rally…...



You see ive been through the desert on a horse with no name…….

The graphics are actually quite nice….. Its not super amazing……. But it does the job…….. The vehicles looks nice and the terrain is rather nicely detailed for what is meant to be a desert rally….. The textures are a bit on the low resolution side mostly on the vehicles…….. even on the GameCube that could have been a bit better…… Another really nice thing is how the vehicle gets more dirty as you drive through the stage……. The dirt on the vehicles does look really nice for the time and does indeed look much better on the GameCube than on the PlayStation 2……… And it can get real dirty…… If my ex was that dirty…… She wouldnt be my ex…….

The sounds here are ok they are the same as the PS2 version……. The co-driver can be a bit annoying and can also be hard to understand at times….. They all seem to have very thick fake accents….. The vehicles sound ok….. The usual vacuum cleaner sounds for this time period on consoles…… Not as bad as the vacuum cleaner sounds in Gran Turismo……... The sounds of the tyres on the difference road surfaces is a really nice touch of detail……. The constant forever looping music is annoying and I needed to turn that off ASAP……..

The controls are rather standard for the GameCube……. Left rigger breaks, Right trigger accelerates…… One button for the handbrake and one button for the horn…….. It works well enough and its nice and responsive……. I had no troubles playing through the entire event……. I did find it a lot easier to control than the PS2 version thanks to the GC triggers instead of the PS2 face buttons for accelerate and brake…….

The storyline....... There is no storyline so i get to make one up.......... April O'Neil is in the desert doing a news story of giant radspiders when she is kidnapped by the despicable duo of the Doritos Pope and the Nacho Nun........ And its up to the Ninja Turtles to rescue her.......... April is taken to the despicable duos hideout and is being lowered into a vat of nacho cheese........ Suddenly Pengling kicks in the door holding a remote....... She disables the Nacho Nun with the push of a button........ "HOW COULD YOU DORITOS POPE!!!!........ I created the Nacho Nun to spread love and the yummy taste of Nachos........." The Doritos Pope continues to lower April towards the vat....... Will April O'Neil be turned into a delicious nacho snack???........ Can the Ninja Turtles get there in time???...... Can Pengling save the day???.......... Tune in next week...... Same CRAP time....... Same CRAP channel.........

The gameplay is actually good….. This is first and foremost a arcade game….. There is no simulation here…… Their are 12 stages…… But these are very short and sweet and each stage can be done in 5 or 6 minutes tops….. While I normally would prefer longer stages…… Since this is pure arcade I will let it slide…..

There is no getting bogged or stuck in the dunes…….. The handbrake is pure physics defying arcade fun…… And even though it is an arcade game there is no underwater ocean section and no giant ants or Penglings in helicopters to destroy your vehicle…… But there are some shortcuts in forked routes in some of the stages……

There is also weather…… Like rain……. Its a nice touch and a nice addition to have……. But its not random…… A rainy stage will always be rainy no matter many times you play it and a sunny will always be sunny no matter what……. Which is a bit of a shame…...

The truck can be damaged and it can impact on the trucks performance but there is no “service” after each stage to manage the damage…… It is just all fully repaired between stages without any intervention from you the player…… The truck deformation *seems* to be better in the CG version which has more vehicle deformation than what I could get in the PS2 version……. By no means a scientific test but something to note…….

The stages are either 2 or 3 laps around a track…… Or a single point to point run….. There are only 2 stages that take place in the actual desert…….. And they are the by far the best…… They are wide open stages with check points and you have free reign to get the checkpoint any way you want…… As the crow flies over the massive dunes and risk damage???……. Go around the dunes and try to not damage your vehicle…… The choice is yours…… And this is where the game really shines…… Sadly it doesnt shine for long enough…….

Even though the stages are on the short side……. Unlike some other Dakar games ive played that are over in less than 20 minutes….. This took me around 45 minutes to complete the normal Dakar Rally…… And to increase playtime once the main Dakar is won it will unlock more vehicles and a Reverse Dakar Rally event…….

Overall while not amazing and not truly capturing the gruelling nature of the Dakar Rally….. This is still a great version of the Dakar Rally……. And is so much better than Dakar ‘97 and Paris-Dakar Rally Special…… Which are truly awful games…..

But if you are looking for a pure arcade and fun Dakar Rally game…… Dakar 2: The World’s Ultimate Rally is actually a decent choice…...

And that is why my final score for Dakar 2: The World's Ultimate Rally is a Sandcrawler out of 10……...


Dakar 2: The World's Ultimate Rally…..


The Road To PES Penguin 6


The road to unlock the PES Penguin in Pro Evolution Soccer 6 is at 2350 PES points out of 5000……….


Next week…… There will be more hardcore Dick Trickle action…….. art of rally…… And more PES Penguin 6……….

Well thats it from me…… Hope all you tuxers have a good week……

Now for my bad joke of the week……
Did you hear that NASA is about to launch a new mission…… To say sorry to Aliens for Earth polluting space???…… Its called “Apollo-G”…….
*ba dum.... tssssh…...*

Last edited by StoneColdSpider on 5 January 2024 at 9:24 pm UTC