Quoting: StoneColdSpiderHello and welcome to the Crass Regional Australian Programming I am Murray Eastlake……. And today I will be bringing you all the action from Australias opening pool round match against Bermuda……

Australia has won the toss and elected to bat first……. Could be a good decision on this flat fast wicket……

And we get under way with the first ball of the innings…… The Bermuda bowler drops it a bit short AND ITS PUNISHED BY GILCHURCH WHO SMASHES IT STRAIGHT BACK OVER THE BOWLERS HEAD FOR SIX!!!…….. Oh what a start for Australia…….

The pressure continued to be mounted by Gilchurch and Hyder who are going on an absolute rampage……. Every Bermuda bowler has been smashed all over the ground……. It didnt take long for both men to put up 50 runs each……. At the half way mark is was already Australias game to lose…….

Hyder and Cilchurch said “Cop that” and they continued to belt the Bermuda bowlers all over the ground…… It this was a fight they would have thrown in the white towel by now…… The beating was getting so bad I was waiting for the Bermuda captain to pull off his jock strap and wave that to surrender……

After the 10 overs was up the Bermuda bowlers have copped possibly the worst beating ive ever seen in all my years of broadcasting……. And ive reported on more than a few Dick Trickle beatings in my years of sports broadcasting…… As both M. Hyder and E. Gilchurch notched their tons in style…..

Australia was sitting in the winning position ending the innings 0/227 with Bermuda needing to score 22.8 runs per over to win…… Not impossible but pretty damn close to it……..

C. Smethurst started well for Bermuda hitting 9 runs in the first over…. But that was where all the joy ended…… after scoring those first 9 runs Bermuda were looking to build on that…. But B. Leap had other ideas and took an early wicket to settle down the Australia team…… With N. Barker take 2 more in the 3rd over…… While B. Hugg took 2 more wickets in the 4th over…….

G. MacGrith who had conceded the most runs and took no wickets in the first over of the innings came back into the attack and took 2 wickets on the fourth and fifth ball of the over…….. MacGrith on a hat-trick comes steaming in from the long run up…….. he bowls his delivery…… AND ITS A BEAUTIFUL YORKER RIGHT ON THE TOES OF THE BATSMAN WHO CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT AND BALL CRASHES INTO MIDDLE STUMP…….. MacGRITH HAS TAKEN A SUPERB HAT-TRICK!!!……. OH WHAT A NIGHT THE AUSTRALIAN TEAM IS HAVING…….

B. Leap came back into the attack as well and cleaned up the Bermuda tail with ease as Australia ran away with an emphatic victory…… That will put every other team in the tournament on notice…….

Well there you have it folks…….. Another chapter has been entered into the great book of cricket……

Make sure to tune in next week to catch all the 2024 T20 World Cup action when we will feature a terrific double header as Australia vs England and then Kenya vs Australia……. Same CRAP time…….. Same CRAP network…….

This is Murray Eastlake reporting for the Crass Regional Australian Programming..... And until next time its goodbye from me….

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Triple Play 2002 (2002 EA Sports) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Baseball)

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NBA Live 98 (1997 EA Sports) - Sony PlayStation - Sports (Basketball)

Quoting: StoneColdSpiderNow for my bad joke of the week……
Q: What do you call friends you like to eat with???........
A: Taste buds…..
*ba dum.... tssssh…...*

Quoting: PenglingDuring the period from 1994 to 1997, Sega attempted to replace their mascot, Sonic The Hedgehog, with something else entirely. Repeatedly. This was ill-advised. In spite a loud minority of gamers trying to claim otherwise at the time, the demand for mascot-character games was still enormous going into the 32-bit era (Super Mario 64 and the Crash Bandicoot trilogy alone proved that, never mind all the rest!), and not only did the lack of Sonic as a system-seller definitely hurt the Saturn (it's entirely possible he couldn't have saved it, but he definitely would've helped), but when the aforementioned loud minority were pandered to during the following console-generation, the entire games-market proceeded to immediately shrink!

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In other gaming-related news, I finally got myself a nice starter TKL mechanical keyboard this week - something that's long-overdue! It has Outemu red switches, which are clones of Cherry MX reds, and they feel and sound like what I want out of a keyboard at this time. It's not a hot-swappable board, but I wouldn't expect that considering the (excellent) price.

I've already installed a few custom keycaps - namely, a Tux Super-key, red WASD keys with little arrows on the fronts, Pac-Man arrow-keys plus a ghost for the Fn key, and a literal space-bar - and I'm really happy with it.

Quoting: Pengling

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Astal (Saturn)

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Doom II (Proton)

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Saturn Bomberman (Saturn)

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Saturn Bomberman Fight!! (Saturn)

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Stardew Valley (Native Linux)

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Stumble Guys (Proton)

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Super Bomberman 3 (SNES)

Quoting: PenglingYay! Murray's back! I'd love to see him do commentary for Bomberman matches at some point.

Quoting: PenglingHe looks like an iffy 3D version of Bobby from King of the Hill.

Quoting: PenglingThese poor guys look ill!

Quoting: PenglingAGH! Another scary menu!

Quoting: PenglingHAHAHAHAHA!