Dick Trickles Racing Career: Part 49
NASCAR Dirt to Daytona: Part 49
Craftsman Truck Series Season 1: Race 3

Intro music…... Hello and welcome to Left Turn Heaven exclusively on the Crass Racing Association Programming..... Im Murray Eastlake and today im going to be bringing you all the action from the 2006 Craftsman Truck Series: Round 3 of 14 here at Martinsville Speedway……..




Martinsville Speedway…….


Martinsville Speedway is 0.526 miles long with 12 degrees of banking in the turns….. This track has two long straights with two tight turns at each end which is how got it got the nickname of “The Paperclip”….. You need good horsepower for the straights and a very good handling for the tight turns at each end…… Thanks to its unique shape and narrow width with a short track length…... Martinsville is always known to be the track where anything can happen…… And tempers are always running hot…… Watch out for the chrome horn…….

Dick Trickle as per usual has been keeping busy……. This time heading off to Welch Valley Racing Complex to race in the Featherlite Modified Series in his Grinch Performance Modified Flaming Dick Machine which is still the class of the field as he took another easy win to rack up more money to spend on the Sears Craftsman Die Hard Dick Machine…...


2006 Featherlite Modified Series Season: Round 3 of 10……


After the win in Darlington Travis Kvapil will be hoping to continue that form this week…… While Matt Crafton will be looking for a good bounce back weekend…… And current Craftsman Truck Series Champion the Scumbag Rick Crawford will keep also want to keep his good top five form going to cement his chances of a title defence…...

The 2005 Featherlite Modified Series Champion Dick Trickle……. Had a wonderful top five finish last week….. Securing the sponsorship bonus money after just two races…… Dick will be looking for another great result here to not only assert himself as THE top Dick of the Craftsman Truck Series but to also get another bonus from his wife Pussy Galore……

No new upgrades this week for the Sears Craftsman Die Hard Dick Machine….. As Dick still needs to save some money…. His winnings from the Featherlite Modified Series is helping out a lot as Dick has told me he should have some more upgrades for next week…….

Dont touch the sets...... Dont touch the dials...... You wont want to miss a single moment of the 2006 Craftsman Truck Series....… Practice and qualifying are coming up right now……



Dick Trickle at the track ready to race.…


Dick Trickle and Dick Seaman as per usual spent a lot of time in practice sorting out the truck…… Working on everything from gear ratios to grill tape…… While they are indeed down on straight line speed according to the speed trap……. They were working hard on getting the truck to turn as best they could…….. And they seemed much more happier than usual as practice came to a close……

Qualifying was up next……. And sure enough the two Dicks extra happiness was not just for show….. As Dick Trickle took his first Craftsman Truck Series pole with a blisteringly fast time of 20.232 to be almost a full second clear of the second placed Dennis Setzer with a 21.149…….

Third was Bobby Dotter with a time of 21.367 while the championship leader Travis Kvapil was in fourth after setting a 21.553……

Rounding out the top five was that Scumbag Rick Crawford who unfortunately set a time of 21.870….. Its a real shame to see him get a top five time…...




Qualifying Results........



Dick Trickle lined up ready to start the race..….


Dick Trickle led the filed to the green flag for the first time in his very short Craftsman Truck Series career…… As the green flag waved to start this 125 lap race Dick got a great jump and extended his lead into the first turn……

Dennis Setzer fell in behind Dick to secure second place….. While Travis Kvapil was duelling it out with Bobby Dotter for third…… Neither man wanting to give an inch…….

Dick continued to extend his lead in the early stages of the race…… As he was having very little trouble lapping cars…… As his truck was amazing through the turns…… Sticking to the track like [BEEP] to a blanket through the corners…… His spotter Jacques O’Ften was very busy on the radio helping Dick get through the lapped traffic…….

While on the pit wall Dick Seamen was calming Dick down and making sure Dick didnt cause a huge crash trying to penetrate his way through this field to hard…….

After 25 laps Nick Vigier had some slight contact with the Scumbag Rick Crawford which sent Vigier into a spin and rear first into the outside wall…… Some minor damage sustained when he hit the wall but he was able to drive away….. But not before the yellow flags were waved though as the pace car was deployed……

Dick Trickle and Dick Semen had a long conversation about pit strategy and both agreed it was better to stay out and take the track position since overtaking is so hard at this track when its for position……. And many others agreed as very few trucks came down the pit lane during this early caution period……

As the green flag waved to restart the race Dick drove hard into turn one to make sure the lapped cars on the inside did not affect him and he did a great job……. While Dennis Setzer got trapped behind the lapped cars and both Bobby Dotter and Travis Kvapil took advantage to pass Sezter on the restart…….

Dick continued to cruise around the track as he had by far away the fastest truck around Martinsville….. But he was not the fastest in a straight line which was evident when he was trying to lap people……

Travis Kvapil used the lap traffic to perfection to get around Bobby Dotter to claim second….. But he was almost a whole lap behind Dick……. Travis was pushing hard trying to catch Dick when he tagged a lapped truck through the traffic which put him into a silly spin and had him trapped front first against the inside wall……

This brought out the second caution period….. But not before Kvapil had lost a whole lap and was now 1 lap down on Dick…… Only three trucks were on the lead lap which made pitting really easy for all three of them as only the trucks on the lead lap can pit during the first lap of a caution……

Dick Trickle, Bobby Dotter and Dennis Setzer all came down an almost empty pit lane to get their service……. They were just outside their pit window so all three would require another pit stop before the end of the race……..

Dennis Setzer won the race off pit lane by only taking right side tyres while Dick and Dotter both changed all four tyres……. This now meant that Setzer was the leader of the race for the first time today…….

As the green flag dropped to restart the race again Dennis Setzer was slow getting away…… Dick nearly penetrated his rear end going into turn one……. While Bobby Dotter was also slow and was swamped by the lapped cars…….

Dick quickly retook the lead when they got back to turn one…… While the Scumbag Rick Crawford and Travis Kvapil were having a good battle over fourth and fifth place…… The Scumbag Crawford getting the best of Kvapil for now……

Just past the half way point now and Dick has a good lead over Dennis Setzer who has fallen off the pace a bit after only taking two tyres last pit stop…… Bobby Dotter has been struggle mightily through the traffic and is not at all happy with the truck…….

Dick Seamen has been on the radio quite a bit making sure Dick is keeping everything under control and not forcing the issue with any lapped trucks……. Dick is in with a real shot of getting his debut Craftsman Truck Series victory in only his third race…….

Dick managed to put Dennis Setzer down a lap meaning Dick was the only man on the lead lap of this race…… His domination knows no bounds as he has brought his Featherlite Modified Series domination to the Craftsman Truck Series…….

With 23 laps to go karma came for the Scumbag Rick Crawford who was tagged by a lapped truck and put into a spin seeing him facing the inside wall just like Travis Kvapil earlier and just like Kvapil the Scumbag Crawford lost a lap trying to get his truck pointed in the right direction again……

This brought out the third caution of the race…… Everyone was well in their pit window and everyone came into the pits lane…… This is after Dick had pitted first in a completely empty pit lane since he was the only truck on the lead lap….. Dick Seamen played it safe put on four brand new tyres and more than enough fuel to make to the finish……. Dick Trickle was in the catbird seat and was on track to take a historic victory…….

As the race restarted once again Dick shot off again into the lead….. Leaving the lap down trucks on the inside for dust as he rocketed off into the first turn…….

Dennis Setzer was a distant second and still a full lap behind Dick……. While the battle for third was really heating up as Bobby Dotter was fighting hard to fend off a hard charging Travis Kvapil……

10 laps to go now and Dick is in complete control of this race…… It would take some divine intervention to stop him getting this win now….. Dennis Setzer seems have settled into second knowing he cant win hes just going to being the truck home in one piece…….

While the battle for third was getting really spicy as Travis Kvapil is allover the back of Bobby Dotter who is struggling really badly in the late stages of this race…….. Dotter makes a fatal error and gets hung out to dry on the onside of a lapped truck which allows Kvapil to shoot up in the inside and take third away from Dotter…… What sensational racing this is from these two drivers…… Great stuff……

Three laps to go and Dick is way out in front……. And is now cruising around the Martinsville Speedway…… Dick makes his way down into turn three…… AND WHATS THAT!!! OH NO!!!……. DICKS BLOWN A TYRE!!!!…… HIS RIGHT FRONT TYRE HAS BURST!!!!……. DICK JUST MANAGES TO KEEP THE TRUCK OFF THE WALL……. HE KEEPS THE TRUCK GOING……. SPARKS ARE FLYING OFF THE RIM AS DICK KEEPS ON GOING……..

DENNIS SETZER GOES PAST TO GET BACK ON THE LEAD LAP……. AND HE IS NOW HUNTING A LIMP DICK……. AS DICK IS VERY SLOWLY GETTING AROUND THE TRACK ON THREE TYRES……..

DENNIS SETZER PASSES DICK AGAIN TO TAKE THE LEAD…….. SETZER HAS TAKEN THE LEAD OF THE RACE……. AND TO RUB INSULT INTO INJURY SETZER PASSES DICK AGAIN TO PUT HIM A LAP DOWN!!!!……..

AS THE CHEQUERED FLAG WAVES TO END THE RACE…… DENNIS SETZER TAKES THE WIN IN DRAMATIC FASHION…….

Coming out of turn four now Dick is still limping the Sears Craftsman Die Hard Dick Machine home…… ALSO COMING OUT OF TURN FOUR IS TRAVIS KVAPIL AND BOBBY DOTTER…… THEY ARE CATCHING THE LIMPING DICK AT A RATE OF KNOTS……. KVAPIL PASSES DICK AND SO DOES DOTTER…….. DICK TAKES FOURTH……. OH THATS NOT HOW IT WAS MEANT TO GO TODAY!!!……. IT WAS MEANT TO BE DICKS DAY!!!…….. MOTOR RACING IS SUCH A CRUEL MISTRESS………

Rounding out the top five was Randy MacDonald who was two laps behind the leader……..

But all the talk after the race was the heartbreaking end for Dick Trickle…… Dick Seamen and Jacques O’Ften both on the radio trying to console a broken Dick who pulls over just past the finish line on the main straight……

Dennis Setzer adds even more insult by doing a victory burnout right beside Dicks stricken truck……. Dick climbs out of the truck and points at Setzer while yelling what we have to assume is some not nice things….. Thankfully the censor doesnt have to do any work as Dicks voice is completely drowned out by Setzers truck revving hard while producing a great smoke show…….




Race Results..…


After the race a very devastated and dejected Dick slowly walks into the paddock area as his Sears Craftsman Die Hard Dick Machine is towed in behind him…… Pussy Galore runs up and embraces Dick trying in vain to console him…..

I managed to catch Dick for a few words…… I hope the censor has his finger on the button…… He might have some work to do…… “I finished even better than last week…… But I feel like ive just been kicked in the balls…….. That {BEEP}ing tyre Murray……. I dont know what happened to it….. We changed all four tyres during that last pit stop and did less than 20 laps of actual racing on it before it burst……. We did everything right Murray…… EVERYTHING……. Claimed pole….. Led 120 laps…….. Set the fasted lap time in the race…….. And for some reason the motor racing gods still decided to smile on [Dennis] Setzer…….”

“This hurts more than any other loss so far in my career Murray…… Ive had more than a few race wins stolen from me by Jason Sulivan over the years…… But this one was totally out of my and the entire teams control……. Goodyear need to come and inspect that tyre to see why it failed the way it did…… This is just not acceptable Murray…….”

“I guess the only thing we can do as a team is now move forward to Dover next week…… There is a bit of damage to the truck from where the tyre failed…… And of course that rim is now toast…… So we will need to replace that as well…… And hopefully get another good result……. Will see you there Murray……...”

Well there you have it folks…….. Another race has been entered into the great book of motorsport…...

Next week the 2006 Craftsman Truck Series heads to Dover International Speedway…..

Can the Craftsman Truck Series Championship leader Travis Kvapil capitalise from his lucky second place finish here today and get another strong finish to extend his championship lead????…… Will Dennis Setzer continue to stay in the championship hunt with another win next week or will the current series champion the Scumbag Rick Crawford get back in the winners circle????…..….. Can the heartbroken Dick Trickle get vengeance and claim his first Craftsman Truck Series victory???……...

Tune in next week for the answers to all these questions and more….. Exclusively here on Left Turn Heaven…….. Same CRAP time…… Same CRAP network………..

This is Murray Eastlake reporting for Left Turn Heaven exclusively here on Crass Racing Association Programming..... And until next time its goodbye from me……

As for why I keep calling the Scumbag Rick Crawford a “Scumbag”…….. There is a very good reason for that…….. the Scumbag Rick Crawford was a real Craftsman Truck Series driver…….. Who is now sitting in jail…….. In 2018 The Scumbag Rick Crawford was arrested, charged and later convicted of "attempted enticement of a minor" when he was caught in a FBI sex crime sting operation……. He is currently serving a 10 year 10 month jail sentence…….. The Scumbag…….


Winnings.…



NASCAR Heat Weekly….



2006 Truck Series Championship Standings after round 3 of 14.…







First lap Hard Dick Truckin’ action....